On Being Emotional

Last night was a rough one for me. Today's a little better, but I still just have this sinking heavy-heart feeling in my gut today.

I'm really stressed about a printing error at work. I'll know more early next week, but I may just have to take full responsibility for it and that sucks. Even though we caught it early enough that it will only cost $1400 to correct, I just hate admitting I screwed up at work.

My uncle had to put his dog to sleep this weekend - Porter. I've spent a lot of time with Porter over the years, watching him when they were out of town. Porter was the best damn dog i've ever come across. When I got that email last night I cried and I cried and I cried.

My mom had a spinal epidural this morning. It's kind of a last-ditch effort at relieving her arthritis pain. I pray that it works. It's so hard to watch her getting older and dealing with constant pain.

I think my new birth control is causing my depression. I'm on my 3rd month of it. If by next month my hormones aren't in check, i'll have to switch back or just ditch it all together. I'm really tired of pumping myself full of hormones. I have plenty to go around.

I feel the need for some sort of vision quest. Some time alone to reassess my personal goals and find myself a little. I just don't know the best way to do that.

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On a lighter note: Chris and I went canoeing with our neighbors this weekend and totally had a blast. I already want to go again. My shoulders ached for two days afterwards, but it was worth it! 10 miles on the whitewater was so much fun once we got the hang of it all over again!