GOAL: Week of January 10

This week's goal is going to be a real challenge. My goal is to burn 3200 calories or more with exercise. I started Saturday and end Friday. I have a full week with working late tonight, having to work a bit early tomorrow before going to a 9-5 offsite training (thus no opportunity for getting to the gym early) and a funeral to attend tomorrow night. Wednesday is going to be hard as well, with family plans I've had for awhile. I will be going to the gym within the hour tonight to hopefully burn about 800 calories, but so far I've burned 1007 calories. Here's to the other 2200!

I smashed last week's goal of doing something nice for Chris every day. This isn't always as easy it sounds when just starting out a diet. It's a time (for me) of being very selfish with my time, and I wanted to make sure Chris got some extra attention and love. He makes sure I get plenty of that every day, and he never EVER is selfish toward anyone. It was a great way to get things off to a good start!

GOAL: Week of January 3

This week my goal is to finish reading my first book of the year, A Thousand Splendid Suns, and to do something extra nice for my husband every day this week. I'll be sure to report back in on this next week. :)

LIES...and 2010 Goals

I haven't posted anything in quite awhile. Because I feel like a liar. I got on my high horse about all the hard work I was going to do and about my new herbal teas, and I failed miserably after just a few days and gave up. So now I'm back, and with several days under my belt of doing all the things I said I would do, I'm here to share my resolutions for the year, all of which revolve on the theme of making more time for myself, which I've never been very good at, and ultimately to lose weight:

1. Make weekly meal plans and stick to them
2. Workout 6 days a week (Friday is set as my day off), and schedule this weekly on the calendar.
3. Eat out less. 1-2 times per week max. This is much better than the 5-6 I have been doing.
4. Track all of my food intake on a spreadsheet. Aim to stay below 1200 calories/day, and for workouts to burn at least 400 calories each (I realize this is modest, but it's a start).
5. Save money and pay off looming debt. My goal is to have my credit cards paid off by the end of this year. It's doable. Then we can officially focus on saving money for the adoption fees that are about twice what I expected them to be! (goals 1 and 2 will directly help this goal move along)
6. Incorporate more fun in my life, and concentrate spending free time with people who build me up, not bring me down. In other words - people with good energy who are fun to be around. (Chris and I have already signed up for a ballroom dancing class starting later this month - I can't wait!).
7. Read more. I am ashamed to say I read 2 books (and lots of magazines) in 2009. This year, I am going to change that. I'm already 2/3rds of the way through my first book of the year (which I started on Saturday). I am dedicating at least 30 mins every day to read. A book, a magazine, the newspaper, whatever. My goal is to finish 6 books this year, along with my magazine and newspaper subscriptions.
8. Make a weekly goal aside from these to help aid in these goals, and post them weekly here each Monday on my blog.

Any big resolutions for anyone else? I'm not sure if it's the excitement of one hellish year being over with, but I am SUPER motivated on these this year. I think it's going to be a really really great year!

2008: A Year in Review

In response to Fat Bridesmaid's fun questionnaire:

Happy New Year!

1. Was 2008 good for you? It was a good year. There were some ups, and a lot of downs, but it doesn't do me any good to be negative about it. I learned a lot about myself. I had another year of good health and growing even closer with my husband. How is that not good, right?
   
2. What was your favorite moment of the year? I definitely have two. Sitting on a dock on Lake Ontario at dusk with Chris. It was so peaceful, and something I'll never forget. And watching the Obama win announcement with Chris, my favorite cousin and other family on election night.
   
3. What was your worst moment of the year? Probably the day I worked from 7:15am to 11:30 pm at my new job and knew I had to be up at 4:30 the next morning to drive to C-bus to catch a flight. The job is definitely getting a little better, but for awhile I was worried that I went from bad to worse.
   
4. Where were you when 2008 began? At my parents "River" home in IN, with Chris, my parents and cousins Mike and Karen. We played Tripoley and drank a LOT of wine. It was really fun.
   
5. Who were you with? See above.
   
6. Where were you when 2008 ended? With Chris across the street playing dominoes with the neighbors.
   
7. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008? My resolution was to lose weight. I dropped 20 pounds, but gained it all back (and then some).
   
8. Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? I joined Weight Watchers again on Dec. 26th, but i'm not making it a resolution this year. I'm just focusing on making time to take care of myself - to eat right, to work out, and to find the time to do the things *I* need to do. I'm also majorly cutting my spending habits to *hopefully* pay off all of my credit card debt that's been looming, so I can focus on saving/investing for other things.
   
9. Did you fall in love in 2008? I fall in love with Chris every day. He's my best friend and I'm so thankful for him every day.
   
10. Did you make any new friends in 2008? My friend Tim at the new job. Amy at the old job (who sadly, I just met before I left). My coworker from the old job Sara and I have started hanging out almost weekly, and I'm so thankful for that.
11. What was your favorite month of 2008? October - A trip to Shaker Village, I had 10 days off, and we got to take a great trip to DC.
    
12. Why this month? Time with friends and family, and time to RELAX.
    
13. Did you travel outside of the US in 2008? Yes, to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Toronto. I LOVE Toronto
    
14. How many different places did you travel to in 2008? Louisville, Cleveland, DC, Toronoto , Niagara, New York, Omaha, Shaker Village
    
15. Did you miss anybody in the past year? I missed my friend Jen. I don't get to talk to her nearly as much as I used to, and the overnight with her family in DC was such a tease!
    
16. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? I loved Lars and the Real Girl.
17. What was your favorite song from 2008? Oh gosh. ANYTHING off of that Vampire Weekend Album.
18. How many concerts or plays did you see in 2008? We saw Ella at Playhouse in the Park, and Wicked at the Aronoff Center. In concert I saw DMB, Tegan and Sara, Springsteen, Paul Thorn, The National, The Breeders...wow. Not nearly enough!
19. Did you have a favorite concert in 2008? The National/Breeders show. Which was also an Obama Rally. It was fantastic.
    
20. What was your favorite book in 2008? The Kite Runner. It was the only book I finished this year (it's been such a busy, busy year), but it was fantastic.
    
21. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? I really let stress overtake me and lost total control of my health. I'm also ashamed of how hard I was to live with for a few months while the stress took over in my life.
    
22. What was the biggest lie you told in 2008? Any time my old co-workers told me they didn't want me to leave because of how things were going for my team and I told them not to worry.
    
23. Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? I definitely could have been nicer to my husband sometimes. Sadly, he bears the worst of my moods sometimes.
    
24. Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? It's not worth hashing out here. ;)
    
25. What was your proudest moment of 2008? The moment I felt like I was finally taking control of my finances. It sure did feel good!
    
26. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? It's definitely not an bad embarrassing moment - but having about 40-50 people in a room singing happy birthday to me was pretty embarrassing (but good!). I don't like that much attention, generally.
    
27. If you could go back to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? I might have approached some of those job interviews differently. And I would have stopped myself when I was eating when I wasn't hungry, or even enjoying what I was eating.
    
28. Where did you work in 2008? At my old job, and now at my new one.
    
29. Favorite TV shows(s) of 2008? The Office and Sunday Morning. Grey's has started to get dumb.
    
30. Favorite Band(s) of 2008? The National, She & Him, Vampire Weekend
    
31. Favorite Food in 2008? A Green Papaya Roll!
    
32. Favorite Drink in 2008? Vitamin Water
    
33. Favorite Place in 2008? Home sweet home. But close seconds are: Park + Vine (my friend's store!), Coffee Emporium, and Green Papaya
    
34. Favorite person(s) to be with in 2008? My Husband, and surprisingly - my brother. We really worked on fixing our friendship in 2008, and I enjoyed every minute with him.
    
35. Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2008? My neighbor. She cracks me up.
    
36. Favorite trip in 2008? Toronto, for sure!
    
37. Favorite stores in 2008? Park + Vine, the Apple Store, Whole Foods, Dean's Mediterranean Imports
    
38. Hardest thing you had to go through in 2008? New job transition
    
39. Most exciting moment(s) in 2008? Buying a new car, a good client presentation in New York, and trying chicken feet for dim sum. ;)
    
40. Funniest moment(s) in 2008? The "question and answer game" with friends, the girly slumber party, dinner at GP with James and the girls.
    

Heading to Shaker Village for the Weekend...

I'm going to one of the coolest Design Conferences ever - close to home in Shaker Village, KY. I even got talked into leading a session there (on sustainability, no less!). I'm really nervous about it, but I think it's going to be a blast. Anyway, as I prepare for this conference, and head out bright and early Friday morning, I leave you with this Shaker Hymn, which is fitting for the weekend, and the cleansing I need to do as I end one job, and move on to another.

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
'Till by turning, turning we come round right.

Struggling

As happy as I am about my new job, and leaving the stressful situation that has been my job over the last year, i'm finding myself sad. And I can't believe it.

When I started this job almost four years ago, I was escaping a job situation where the work was not what I wanted to be doing, my supervisor wouldn't teach me anything, and I felt I was failing for it. It left me insecure, and when I moved into my current job I was terrified of failing all over again.

The funny part is I really did succeed there. I excelled at my job. I knew it, and they knew it. And now i'm leaving that job to go to another small company, much like the one I left four years ago. And i'm *terrified*. Terrified that i'll fail them, and terrified that they'll fail me. And the job i'm leaving was once my dream job - and now this new job has a lot to live up to. I know I made the right choice, but I sure hope I can move forward into this new experience with my head high and my creativity refreshed.

I've been a bundle of emotions today, as I had to tell the team that reports to me my news, and a few of my friends at work. My boss still hasn't announced it. I guess the guilt is getting to me, too. But I can't help but wish things were different, because I don't WANT to leave. I believe in what that facility is doing for pediatric health. I adore (most of) my coworkers. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the projects I get to work on, and the beyond fascinating topics I get to research and learn about. The surgeries I have watched, the patients whose lives have changed because of the work our facility does, and ultimately because of the message that I helped put out there about our services, that make people aware of all we do.

I need to stop saying "we" i guess. I just can't help wishing it had all turned out differently.

What a long crazy summer it's been!

I'm back! And i'm giving this blog more attention.

It's been a crazy summer. I've been working alot, and I haven't been focusing on myself, or on my own needs and outlets. Some things I have on tap for the last few months of the year:

1. A really cool conference in Shaker Village, KY: I need this! Totally just a weekend of inspiration with other designers

2. Planning a trip for my 30th Birthday: More details on that soon, I hope. Chris and I are hoping to sit down this weekend and next and really decide where we want to go and for how long!

3. Making better health choices for myself: This includes sticking to my regular gym schedule, and not letting work interfere with that.

4. Finding work/life balance: This is going to be my biggest challenge on this list. I'm not sure how i'm going to do it, but I will!

5. Taking the time to work on remodeling my kitchen: Fingers crossed big time here. I can't wait to get that nasty wallpaper down, and possibly take advantage of the fact that my very handy brother is laid off and looking for under-the-table cash work and just things to do in general!

6. Planting a fall garden: I'm hoping to start that this weekend! I can't wait for fall veggies!

On the Proverbial Edge

Today I got so frustrated with someone I have repeatedly tried so hard to get along with at work that I came very close to yelling at her.

I felt it right there. It wasn't good.

I have tried in so many ways. Calls, meetings with her, meetings with my boss, emails. You name it. We have completely opposite communication styles, and I have to say that I have never EVER had this kind of a problem communicating with someone.

Even though i'm going to a very intense 3-day conference, an checking email while i'm there for work, I'm so glad to get away for a few days.

In other news, I had a very very nice weekend with my husband. In recent weekends we seemed to be arguing a lot. My thought on it all is that we really haven't had time to spend together, and we were really taking it out on one another by picking fights because we are both frustrated.

We got to sit down this weekend and really talk about focusing on our goals together. Not my goals for my career, and his goals for finishing school and focusing on a career, but our goals together. It was really really good. It's funny how a nice weekend together and a bit of communication can spark the fire all over again! I never said marriage was easy - it's a lot of work.

It's definitely worth it. Chris is definitely worth it.

On Being Emotional

Last night was a rough one for me. Today's a little better, but I still just have this sinking heavy-heart feeling in my gut today.

I'm really stressed about a printing error at work. I'll know more early next week, but I may just have to take full responsibility for it and that sucks. Even though we caught it early enough that it will only cost $1400 to correct, I just hate admitting I screwed up at work.

My uncle had to put his dog to sleep this weekend - Porter. I've spent a lot of time with Porter over the years, watching him when they were out of town. Porter was the best damn dog i've ever come across. When I got that email last night I cried and I cried and I cried.

My mom had a spinal epidural this morning. It's kind of a last-ditch effort at relieving her arthritis pain. I pray that it works. It's so hard to watch her getting older and dealing with constant pain.

I think my new birth control is causing my depression. I'm on my 3rd month of it. If by next month my hormones aren't in check, i'll have to switch back or just ditch it all together. I'm really tired of pumping myself full of hormones. I have plenty to go around.

I feel the need for some sort of vision quest. Some time alone to reassess my personal goals and find myself a little. I just don't know the best way to do that.

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On a lighter note: Chris and I went canoeing with our neighbors this weekend and totally had a blast. I already want to go again. My shoulders ached for two days afterwards, but it was worth it! 10 miles on the whitewater was so much fun once we got the hang of it all over again!

"I'll be 30 Next Year"

The title statement really caught me off guard last week. It flowed out of my mouth like my brother out of a family function. I didn't think about what I was saying before I said it. And though it's still 22 months before that 30th birthday, it just made me start thinking about my goals. This has inspired me to post my first blog on this new page.

10 things I'd like to accomplish before I turn 30:
Travel to a different country (or two) with my husband
Get my credit card debt and spending problems in order
Lose 40 pounds
Finish the redecoration of my bathroom
Prepare a proper guest room - that can one day convert to a baby's room
Take a painting class - face my fear of starting again
Take a class on composting and/or sustainability from the garden center
Learn to make the glorious family Spaghetti and Meatballs recipe
Take sewing lessons from my grandmother
Find the time to read more often