It's been a funny holiday season in our house. I've really been in the holiday spirit, moreso than years past, but not so much in the spirit to concentrate on myself, as my plans included in my last blog posting. I have lost a few pounds in the last month or two, but not because of a healthy plan for living - because I haven't been snacking, and most weekends i'm only eating one meal a day. I'm thinking about food far less as my mind is consumed with other things these days.
The more I think about it, it makes sense to me why I don't want to devote that time and energy. I am keeping myself busy, but I am doing anything I can to avoid really thinking about what's been going on in my life for the last year. When I have the down time, I get really down. I've been keeping myself busy with Christmas baking, holiday cards, gift wrapping and decorating.
Now I can say my baking is nearing an end (only 4 more batches to make - I should have them done by the weekend), my Christmas cards are out, my house is decorated and my shopping is done (most of the wrapping is done, too!). Yesterday it all hit me like a ton of bricks as I took the evening off to relax and found myself lounging on the couch with some sappy movies and a box of tissues.
As I approach the New Year, i'm preparing for reality to hit. I'm working on a household budget, and trying really hard to talk myself into a healthy diet an exercise plan that I can settle into. I've started a list of creative projects for myself, including an Etsy shop to sell some of these projects (I am thinking birthday, birth announcements, wedding and baby shower and thank you cards, mostly). I'm trying to carve out some time to market myself as a freelance designer as well. I think keeping busy is going to be the key to staying on track.
Not exactly a New Year's resolution yet, but I'm getting there. What are you working towards this Holiday season?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Herbal Option
For several weeks I've been moping. I haven't been going to the gym regularly. I've been eating out far too often, and though I am certainly not overeating, I have not been making good food choices. Not nearly enough vegetables, far too much sugar and carbohydrates in general, and fried foods galore.
Today I talked myself into stopping all of that and putting my best foot forward again. I met with my herbalist today. We've been working together for several months, but because she had major surgery and major recovery that followed, I just got my teas today. I'm really excited about it. She concocted a loose tea blend just for me. It's called "Nikki's Tea." :) The herbs and roots in it were combined to help me in three areas that we identified to help my body: Weight loss, mood enhancement and digestion. My first batch of tea is steeping now, and since it contains various roots, it's supposed to steep overnight. I can't wait to try it in the morning. 1-2 cups per day.
Along with it, she gave me a list of recommendations for eating and supplements to keep up. I took a trip to whole foods and stocked up on organic foods for the week. I spent a good portion of the day cooking in preparation of packing my lunch at least 4 times this week, and being prepared to cook meals that will be easy to make after work. I went to the gym and hit the arc trainer for an hour tonight. And it felt fantastic to be there and to be back. I've even turned down two invites for things to do this week knowing that it's not about what I want to look like or what size I want to wear, but that my body needs me to do what's right and get my own care in check.
I don't expect these teas to work miracles. But I do expect to see some small improvements in my energy level, my cravings, and hopefully my digestive problems. I have promised myself that it's okay to slip up sometimes, or skip a day at the gym if my heels are bothering me (which i am certain is because of excess weight, and why I had to stop my running training), but I have to get right back on the path afterwards. Not the next day, but the next moment.
I think I make it too hard for myself sometimes, and if I focus less on how food makes me feel and more about what it does for me, I should be able to maintain this focus.
Today I talked myself into stopping all of that and putting my best foot forward again. I met with my herbalist today. We've been working together for several months, but because she had major surgery and major recovery that followed, I just got my teas today. I'm really excited about it. She concocted a loose tea blend just for me. It's called "Nikki's Tea." :) The herbs and roots in it were combined to help me in three areas that we identified to help my body: Weight loss, mood enhancement and digestion. My first batch of tea is steeping now, and since it contains various roots, it's supposed to steep overnight. I can't wait to try it in the morning. 1-2 cups per day.
Along with it, she gave me a list of recommendations for eating and supplements to keep up. I took a trip to whole foods and stocked up on organic foods for the week. I spent a good portion of the day cooking in preparation of packing my lunch at least 4 times this week, and being prepared to cook meals that will be easy to make after work. I went to the gym and hit the arc trainer for an hour tonight. And it felt fantastic to be there and to be back. I've even turned down two invites for things to do this week knowing that it's not about what I want to look like or what size I want to wear, but that my body needs me to do what's right and get my own care in check.
I don't expect these teas to work miracles. But I do expect to see some small improvements in my energy level, my cravings, and hopefully my digestive problems. I have promised myself that it's okay to slip up sometimes, or skip a day at the gym if my heels are bothering me (which i am certain is because of excess weight, and why I had to stop my running training), but I have to get right back on the path afterwards. Not the next day, but the next moment.
I think I make it too hard for myself sometimes, and if I focus less on how food makes me feel and more about what it does for me, I should be able to maintain this focus.
Monday, November 09, 2009
My Guiltiest Pleasures
I figured i'd start a little meme up here with some of my guilty pleasures. Things I don't normally admit too much to. Just for fun. Here goes:
1. 90210 (the original, and preferrably the high school years). It's on SoapNet nightly, and I watch it far too often!
2. Justin Timberlake. For real. Love him. And I'm such a music snob otherwise.
3. Crocs. I'll admit it, they're ugly as sin. But they are comfortable and I wear them around the house and the neighborhood all the time. But I will often deny their existence to my designer friends. :)
4. Michelina's Lean Gourmet Buffalo Chicken Rolls. I know they're packed full of preservatives and even though they say they're low fat, they're not good for me in any way. But once in awhile, they sure do curb that craving for buffalo wings instead of fatty greasy wings!
5. Target. Yes, I'm all about supporting local businesses, buying green products, whole foods and sustainable items. But a girl can't find plus size organic cotton/hemp/whatever clothing in boutique shops, unfortunately. I've always had a secret love for Target. It didn't always used to be so secret. But I definitely only make about 3 trips yearly, as opposed to the weekly trips I made previously.
What are your five guiltiest pleasures? Share them here or post them to your blog!
1. 90210 (the original, and preferrably the high school years). It's on SoapNet nightly, and I watch it far too often!
2. Justin Timberlake. For real. Love him. And I'm such a music snob otherwise.
3. Crocs. I'll admit it, they're ugly as sin. But they are comfortable and I wear them around the house and the neighborhood all the time. But I will often deny their existence to my designer friends. :)
4. Michelina's Lean Gourmet Buffalo Chicken Rolls. I know they're packed full of preservatives and even though they say they're low fat, they're not good for me in any way. But once in awhile, they sure do curb that craving for buffalo wings instead of fatty greasy wings!
5. Target. Yes, I'm all about supporting local businesses, buying green products, whole foods and sustainable items. But a girl can't find plus size organic cotton/hemp/whatever clothing in boutique shops, unfortunately. I've always had a secret love for Target. It didn't always used to be so secret. But I definitely only make about 3 trips yearly, as opposed to the weekly trips I made previously.
What are your five guiltiest pleasures? Share them here or post them to your blog!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
A Letter to My Family and Friends
Dear Family and Friends:
If I've worked up the nerve in the last several months and specifically in the last week to talk to you and confide in you about the news that we cannot have children, I have one simple request for you. While I know you're trying your best to be supportive, show concern, and be sensitive to a situation that more than likely causes you to be uncomfortable, please do us one favor: do not let the first question out of your mouth be "have you thought about adoption?"
The answer is, yes, we've thought about it. But the point is that when you ask that question you completely dismiss our feelings on the matter, and the fact that we are mourning a loss in our lives. Adoption is not easy. It's not an easy decision emotionally, financially or physically. And even though we want to proceed with the process, it requires a LOT of thought and decision making. Simply telling us you love us, you're keeping us in your thoughts, and making us laugh is what we need most.
Love,
Nikki
If I've worked up the nerve in the last several months and specifically in the last week to talk to you and confide in you about the news that we cannot have children, I have one simple request for you. While I know you're trying your best to be supportive, show concern, and be sensitive to a situation that more than likely causes you to be uncomfortable, please do us one favor: do not let the first question out of your mouth be "have you thought about adoption?"
The answer is, yes, we've thought about it. But the point is that when you ask that question you completely dismiss our feelings on the matter, and the fact that we are mourning a loss in our lives. Adoption is not easy. It's not an easy decision emotionally, financially or physically. And even though we want to proceed with the process, it requires a LOT of thought and decision making. Simply telling us you love us, you're keeping us in your thoughts, and making us laugh is what we need most.
Love,
Nikki
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A Return to Blogging?
I've been thinking about whether to blog or not to blog for quite awhile. I felt like blogging was bringing me down in some ways before, and in other ways, a form of therapy. I have spent far too much time in my life dwelling on my own imperfections, and what I tend to blog about is how badly I want to lose weight, be healthier and (of late) have children. Granted, it was a rough summer emotionally. With the news of our fertility challenges back in June, I've found myself battling depression for several months. I tried so hard to hide it. For several weeks, I hibernated. Not alot of people know still what we've been presented with. My neighbor even asked me late in July if I was mad about something because it had been so long since she'd seen or heard from me. I sat in my house a LOT this summer, waiting and hoping to be reached out TO by my friends and loved ones and concentrating my relationship to my husband and to just a few friends who I knew wouldn't remind me of babies or pregnancy or anything of the sort. I avoided my friends who were pregnant or have just had babies because it just hurt too much. I know that it's really not fair to them, but I sure hope they understand - especially the ones who know. And I think they do. I realize I can't avoid it forever, but there were days when I just couldn't get out of bed. Yesterday, we got the final word that pregnancy the "old fashioned" way is not a possibility for us, and I'm really trying hard to not let it get me as down as it did earlier in the summer. I have alot to focus on for the upcoming weekend, so we'll see how I do when all of the excitement passes...
I've come to terms with alot of it now. I am actually seeing a therapist for the first time this week to talk about it. I'm seeing an herbalist to help me with natural mood enhancers. I resigned from my board position for my professional organization this month to dedicate a chunk of time concentrating on me. Something I really haven't done in a number of years!
That said, not all of the summer was bad. I had an amazing camping trip with old friends that really helped me forget everything going on in my life. It's amazing how you can reunite with a group of people and suddenly be transported back to worry-free days when you saw them often. Except we're all grown up and responsible now. So a weekend of drinking and live music is just a fantastic way to reminisce about those carefree days and get away from life.
Two ladies I adore and got to spend a fabulous weekend with. One of whom I have spent far too little keeping up with this summer.
Chris and I also took a fantastic vacation to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. We went to San Francisco and wine country for a week. It was one of the best vacations of my life, and I was truly able to put all of my worries aside for 11 whole days while we were there and the few days afterwards that we had together at home. I expected to love it out there - all the great foods, the big city, the cultural offerings and the character of San Francisco - but I sure didn't expect it to be as beautiful as it was! Everywhere we went!
One of my favorite photos from our vacation/5th wedding anniversary trip. We LOVED San Francisco!
For our anniversary, we had some "family" photos taken. Yes, we are those people who take photos with the dog. But we just adore this little critter, and our photographers did such a fantastic job of capturing us.
Family photo taken on our wedding anniversary, September 4, 2009.
So while we've had our ups and downs, I'm focusing really hard on myself, and I plan to share some of that here, as well as things that keep me going. I hope not to focus solely on the lack of children in our home, or the number on the scale, or the money we need to save for some of the big decisions we have ahead in terms of pursuing having a child in our lives, but about taking care of myself and making sure my husband is doing the same. I am certain we deserve it!
I've come to terms with alot of it now. I am actually seeing a therapist for the first time this week to talk about it. I'm seeing an herbalist to help me with natural mood enhancers. I resigned from my board position for my professional organization this month to dedicate a chunk of time concentrating on me. Something I really haven't done in a number of years!
That said, not all of the summer was bad. I had an amazing camping trip with old friends that really helped me forget everything going on in my life. It's amazing how you can reunite with a group of people and suddenly be transported back to worry-free days when you saw them often. Except we're all grown up and responsible now. So a weekend of drinking and live music is just a fantastic way to reminisce about those carefree days and get away from life.
Two ladies I adore and got to spend a fabulous weekend with. One of whom I have spent far too little keeping up with this summer.
Chris and I also took a fantastic vacation to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. We went to San Francisco and wine country for a week. It was one of the best vacations of my life, and I was truly able to put all of my worries aside for 11 whole days while we were there and the few days afterwards that we had together at home. I expected to love it out there - all the great foods, the big city, the cultural offerings and the character of San Francisco - but I sure didn't expect it to be as beautiful as it was! Everywhere we went!
One of my favorite photos from our vacation/5th wedding anniversary trip. We LOVED San Francisco!
For our anniversary, we had some "family" photos taken. Yes, we are those people who take photos with the dog. But we just adore this little critter, and our photographers did such a fantastic job of capturing us.
Family photo taken on our wedding anniversary, September 4, 2009.
So while we've had our ups and downs, I'm focusing really hard on myself, and I plan to share some of that here, as well as things that keep me going. I hope not to focus solely on the lack of children in our home, or the number on the scale, or the money we need to save for some of the big decisions we have ahead in terms of pursuing having a child in our lives, but about taking care of myself and making sure my husband is doing the same. I am certain we deserve it!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
Reflections on a once in a lifetime experience
Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of observing my husband meet his biological father for the first time. He is so fortunate to have had quite a wonderful experience with this, and today I am still glowing with happiness for him.
To make a long story short (without family politics or anything too terribly personal), my husband's parents had him when his mother was just 17, and his father was 20. They were married shortly before he was born, and the marriage only lasted about 3 years. The last time Chris saw his father was when he was 5 years old. He's not exactly sure why. It's not something that was really mentioned much during his childhood. And his mother remarried soon after his last visit with his real Dad, and Chris grew up with a father figure that he has called "Dad" and step-siblings who he has always considered his real siblings. The few times I encountered Chris ask about his real Dad, it was obvious that it was still a sore subject with his mother 25-30 years later.
About four years ago, my husband received an email from a half-sister, then 16, who wanted to know who he was, and whose curiosity led her to reaching out to him. For four years, he has spoken to this sister (now 20), and eventually the younger sister (now 19), but not their father. They've exchanged pleasantries and photos of each other. About a month ago we went to a concert and the two sisters were there - Cincinnati is such a small place! This led to my husband getting up the nerve to call his Dad, only after the two sisters broke the news to their Dad for the first time that they'd been talking to their brother for nearly four years via email.
They've had several long phone conversations over the course of the last month. And they've kept it light. No long explanations, or anger or awkwardness, just a mutual agreement that they are both sad that they missed out on one another's lives.
Last night we were invited to come to their home and meet the family. Chris was a bit reluctant and scared, but i'm so proud of him for taking the step to go. It was such a great experience. There's so much to be said for Nature vs Nurture. He is so much like his dad in personality, in looks, and in mannerisms. See the photo below:
Left to right: Jes, Sara, Chris & Mike
I feel so fortunate to have witnessed this experience. The sheer joy on his father's face, and the pride in his voice that I saw as Chris told him about his childhood, his college and military days, his career and our life together are something I will never forget. And the light in Chris' eyes to hear about some of his Dad's interests that are so similar to his own - baseball, trains, bluegrass, and beer - still has me all mushed up inside in excitement for him.
I look forward to observing how their relationship grows (though I am certain it will be a cautious and slow process by my husband's wishes), and I realize that sharing this experience with my husband has further strengthened our marriage. I just cannot express the admiration I feel for him after enduring such an emotional and very scary situation and coming out with what seems to be a very good outcome for all!
To make a long story short (without family politics or anything too terribly personal), my husband's parents had him when his mother was just 17, and his father was 20. They were married shortly before he was born, and the marriage only lasted about 3 years. The last time Chris saw his father was when he was 5 years old. He's not exactly sure why. It's not something that was really mentioned much during his childhood. And his mother remarried soon after his last visit with his real Dad, and Chris grew up with a father figure that he has called "Dad" and step-siblings who he has always considered his real siblings. The few times I encountered Chris ask about his real Dad, it was obvious that it was still a sore subject with his mother 25-30 years later.
About four years ago, my husband received an email from a half-sister, then 16, who wanted to know who he was, and whose curiosity led her to reaching out to him. For four years, he has spoken to this sister (now 20), and eventually the younger sister (now 19), but not their father. They've exchanged pleasantries and photos of each other. About a month ago we went to a concert and the two sisters were there - Cincinnati is such a small place! This led to my husband getting up the nerve to call his Dad, only after the two sisters broke the news to their Dad for the first time that they'd been talking to their brother for nearly four years via email.
They've had several long phone conversations over the course of the last month. And they've kept it light. No long explanations, or anger or awkwardness, just a mutual agreement that they are both sad that they missed out on one another's lives.
Last night we were invited to come to their home and meet the family. Chris was a bit reluctant and scared, but i'm so proud of him for taking the step to go. It was such a great experience. There's so much to be said for Nature vs Nurture. He is so much like his dad in personality, in looks, and in mannerisms. See the photo below:
Left to right: Jes, Sara, Chris & Mike
I feel so fortunate to have witnessed this experience. The sheer joy on his father's face, and the pride in his voice that I saw as Chris told him about his childhood, his college and military days, his career and our life together are something I will never forget. And the light in Chris' eyes to hear about some of his Dad's interests that are so similar to his own - baseball, trains, bluegrass, and beer - still has me all mushed up inside in excitement for him.
I look forward to observing how their relationship grows (though I am certain it will be a cautious and slow process by my husband's wishes), and I realize that sharing this experience with my husband has further strengthened our marriage. I just cannot express the admiration I feel for him after enduring such an emotional and very scary situation and coming out with what seems to be a very good outcome for all!
Monday, June 22, 2009
A tribute to my Dad!
I should have posted this yesterday. But I wanted to make a special post here about my Dad. Whom I just adore! Isn't he cute?
Keeneland, April 2009
Some qualities I inherited from my Dad:
His sense of humor
His blue eyes
His fun-loving spirit
His sense of adventure
His political and spiritual beliefs
His love of food (but obviously, not his metabolism!)
His love for my mother
His appreciation for music
His curiosity
His generosity
I am so fortunate to have this man in my life. He makes me laugh so much almost every day. Some of my best childhood memories are of times with my Dad - at ball games, camping, fishing, buying my first car, and teaching me how to drive. I'm so glad that as an adult my Dad is also my friend. He is just an amazing person. I love you, Dad!
Keeneland, April 2009
Some qualities I inherited from my Dad:
His sense of humor
His blue eyes
His fun-loving spirit
His sense of adventure
His political and spiritual beliefs
His love of food (but obviously, not his metabolism!)
His love for my mother
His appreciation for music
His curiosity
His generosity
I am so fortunate to have this man in my life. He makes me laugh so much almost every day. Some of my best childhood memories are of times with my Dad - at ball games, camping, fishing, buying my first car, and teaching me how to drive. I'm so glad that as an adult my Dad is also my friend. He is just an amazing person. I love you, Dad!
On Second Thought...
Maybe my hiatus will be short-lived here. I thought about this long and hard over the last month while my postings have been pretty light. But i'm moving forward with this blog, even though I have days and weeks when I don't feel like writing, or wonder if this blog is really serving any purpose. Today I realized it's serving a good purpose to myself for recording my life in some aspects, as well as my triumphs and my struggles.
Last week was a pretty rough one for me. The weekend turned out to be really great. I have my ups and my downs, but doesn't everybody? What has really struck a chord with me the past couple of days is that THIS TIME when I had the roughest of weeks, I didn't fall back on food. I stayed on track. I ate right. I resisted the sweets - without blinking an eye. And I plan to get back to the exercise regimen tomorrow (the virus i've had is finally clearing up enough that I feel up for a session on the elliptical, or maybe at least a long walk with the dog tomorrow morning).
I have truly made a life change for myself this time. It's been a month, and i've lost 9 pounds. Not bad, right? I have more energy than I've had in years! My summer capris that I was lamenting a month ago which didn't fit? I'm back in them again! I realize that in all my years of doing Weight Watchers, i never really gave up the things that are not good for me, I just compensated in other ways. And really, once you've given them up for a couple of weeks, the cravings aren't so bad.
So, what am I doing?
Last week was a pretty rough one for me. The weekend turned out to be really great. I have my ups and my downs, but doesn't everybody? What has really struck a chord with me the past couple of days is that THIS TIME when I had the roughest of weeks, I didn't fall back on food. I stayed on track. I ate right. I resisted the sweets - without blinking an eye. And I plan to get back to the exercise regimen tomorrow (the virus i've had is finally clearing up enough that I feel up for a session on the elliptical, or maybe at least a long walk with the dog tomorrow morning).
I have truly made a life change for myself this time. It's been a month, and i've lost 9 pounds. Not bad, right? I have more energy than I've had in years! My summer capris that I was lamenting a month ago which didn't fit? I'm back in them again! I realize that in all my years of doing Weight Watchers, i never really gave up the things that are not good for me, I just compensated in other ways. And really, once you've given them up for a couple of weeks, the cravings aren't so bad.
So, what am I doing?
- Eating Whole Grains (no white flour)
- Eating LOTS of fruits and vegetables (especially green ones!)
- Eating lean protein (beans and chicken are my friend!)
- Drinking LOTS of water
- Cut out the caffeine (yes, really - and I was a coffee and diet coke fanatic! though i do have the occasional green tea 1-2 times per week)
- Cut out the sugar (i've had only 3 servings of sugary food items in 4 weeks...)
- Cut out the artificial sweetener
- Exercising a bunch (training with the C25K program and doing the elliptical machine so that I at least get 30 mins of cardio every day).
- Taking my vitamins! I've never been very good at this before.
- Taking time for myself - i've been planning less for my social life, and purposely scheduling nights to myself each week to plan meals, relax, read, and overall de-stress (if you don't recall, I am a stress eater!)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Hiatus
I have decided to take an indefinite hiatus from my blog for now. Don't worry, i'll be lurking on the blogs of others for awhile. If you have good thoughts to send my way, please do so. I could use some good vibes!
I'm just busy, preoccupied and don't have the heart right now for blogging. I'll be back at some point, when I'm a better me. Promise.
I'm just busy, preoccupied and don't have the heart right now for blogging. I'll be back at some point, when I'm a better me. Promise.
Monday, June 01, 2009
A Cute Day!
There's alot to be said about your general outlook on life when you take the time to plan your wardrobe for the day, fix your hair and makeup, and all around invest the time in your own appearance to feel better.
I treated myself to a couple of new tops at Old Navy yesterday. This was one of them. And I felt really cute today! I also love the shoes I wore - I haven't gotten them out of the closet in a month or two because heels don't always feel as good as flats - but they sure are cute!
Another blurry photo...sorry folks! But can you tell how much I love green?
Shoes - i love these black wedges. They go so well with almost anything, and toe cleavage is never a bad thing!
I treated myself to a couple of new tops at Old Navy yesterday. This was one of them. And I felt really cute today! I also love the shoes I wore - I haven't gotten them out of the closet in a month or two because heels don't always feel as good as flats - but they sure are cute!
Another blurry photo...sorry folks! But can you tell how much I love green?
Shoes - i love these black wedges. They go so well with almost anything, and toe cleavage is never a bad thing!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
The Sugar Hangover
So after a week of not eating sugar, except for in my fruit, I splurged last night on a scrumptious home made (by me) berry shortcake with homemade pound cake and whipped cream dessert. Only half of the portion I gave my friends, but still delicious, with the intent that I would not allow myself another sugary serving of something for another week.
And today I really really felt it. I was sluggish all morning. The dog woke me at 8am (i usually am up at least an hour before then), and I really couldn't feel awake at all for the next two hours. At 10:30 I dragged myself to Target and then to the gym. And running on the treadmill for 30 mins or so really helped. Chris called this my "sugar hangover" and that's absolutely what it was. I can't wait to get back into the groove of the work week and count calories and eat right. Sounds crazy, but I really am excited about this.
I had the distinct honor of hanging with Fat Bridesmaid this evening. We went for a walk, hung out at a great Northern Kentucky Bar for a cocktail (with a great view of the Cincinnati skyline), and we chatted it up for a few hours. Aside from talking about food and work and life, I told her how I really felt like I was in my groove, and this was how I was going to get to my goal of a healthier me. And I meant it.
It was the perfect lazy Sunday. Sugar hangover and all! More coming soon about healing...stay tuned...
And today I really really felt it. I was sluggish all morning. The dog woke me at 8am (i usually am up at least an hour before then), and I really couldn't feel awake at all for the next two hours. At 10:30 I dragged myself to Target and then to the gym. And running on the treadmill for 30 mins or so really helped. Chris called this my "sugar hangover" and that's absolutely what it was. I can't wait to get back into the groove of the work week and count calories and eat right. Sounds crazy, but I really am excited about this.
I had the distinct honor of hanging with Fat Bridesmaid this evening. We went for a walk, hung out at a great Northern Kentucky Bar for a cocktail (with a great view of the Cincinnati skyline), and we chatted it up for a few hours. Aside from talking about food and work and life, I told her how I really felt like I was in my groove, and this was how I was going to get to my goal of a healthier me. And I meant it.
It was the perfect lazy Sunday. Sugar hangover and all! More coming soon about healing...stay tuned...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Hooray!
Although I was hoping for larger results after my hard work this week...i'm down 3 pounds. And I'll take it. Being three pounds lighter is excellent. I hope to drop another 10 in the next month so some of my summer clothes will fit that don't currently...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Week Two :: No Sugar
This week at accupuncture, my Dr. took a look at my food journal and said he was very proud of my food choices, and portion sizes, and the fact that I have a lot of fruits, veggies, whole grains and nuts in my diet. He asked me to make sure I incorporated fish at least three times per week (I had it twice), but said my biggest problem area is my sugar intake. I know I am a sugar FANATIC. He asked me to work to cut it out completely. Now I realize that a little bit in moderation is okay. But I also realize i'm not so good at eating sugar in moderation.
Right now i'm on day three of no sugar. Day one went just fine. Day two was rough...to say the least. I was really grouchy and moody all day. And my poor husband can't win. He wanted to stop for soft-serve ice cream after a long drive and a picnic with the dog, and I shot him dirty looks. We passed a bakery (my husband cannot pass a mom and pop bakery without stopping in...they are so few and far between these days), and of course wanted to go in, and I told him i would be really mad if he did. HAHA. He just kept forgetting, and I was getting into a bit of a funk feeling so limited. I just counted all my calories for yesterday though and still kept at 1700 calories. The doctor asked me to stay between 1800-2000. I'd like to stay closer to or below 1500. I think I can do that for the rest of the week for sure. (last night also involved a few beers and eating out at a diner-style restaurant, where I purposely put half of my meal in a to-go container before I ate...and fed it to the dog this morning. :)
I am making strides for myself...and i'm proud of the progress so far. Today is going to be a better day than yesterday!
Right now i'm on day three of no sugar. Day one went just fine. Day two was rough...to say the least. I was really grouchy and moody all day. And my poor husband can't win. He wanted to stop for soft-serve ice cream after a long drive and a picnic with the dog, and I shot him dirty looks. We passed a bakery (my husband cannot pass a mom and pop bakery without stopping in...they are so few and far between these days), and of course wanted to go in, and I told him i would be really mad if he did. HAHA. He just kept forgetting, and I was getting into a bit of a funk feeling so limited. I just counted all my calories for yesterday though and still kept at 1700 calories. The doctor asked me to stay between 1800-2000. I'd like to stay closer to or below 1500. I think I can do that for the rest of the week for sure. (last night also involved a few beers and eating out at a diner-style restaurant, where I purposely put half of my meal in a to-go container before I ate...and fed it to the dog this morning. :)
I am making strides for myself...and i'm proud of the progress so far. Today is going to be a better day than yesterday!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
More Gratitude
Because I feel the need, here's another list of things I am grateful for!
1. The three day weekend (three and a half days for me!). I really really needed this again, and Chris and I didn't have a whole lot planned. It's amazing how wonderful being at home and having no plans really can be!
2. A fridge packed with healthy foods, veggies and fruits. I'm so excited to cook meals at home this week and eat all these goodies. Anybody have a good suggestion for using up a load of snap peas? They came in my delivery Friday, and I have to figure out what to use them for...
3. The Sunday Times at my front door this morning.
4. A good review from the accupunture doctor. He was really proud of the food I ate this week. But he asked me to cut out refined sugar completely. I told him that was going to be hard. But I am going to do it, at least for a little while. :)
5. The amazing lunch I had yesterday with a good good friend. I am still thinking about that amazing (and healthy!) lunch. YUM YUM YUM.
1. The three day weekend (three and a half days for me!). I really really needed this again, and Chris and I didn't have a whole lot planned. It's amazing how wonderful being at home and having no plans really can be!
2. A fridge packed with healthy foods, veggies and fruits. I'm so excited to cook meals at home this week and eat all these goodies. Anybody have a good suggestion for using up a load of snap peas? They came in my delivery Friday, and I have to figure out what to use them for...
3. The Sunday Times at my front door this morning.
4. A good review from the accupunture doctor. He was really proud of the food I ate this week. But he asked me to cut out refined sugar completely. I told him that was going to be hard. But I am going to do it, at least for a little while. :)
5. The amazing lunch I had yesterday with a good good friend. I am still thinking about that amazing (and healthy!) lunch. YUM YUM YUM.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Letting Go of Stress
The past several weeks have helped me to realize that i need to learn to let go of some of my stress. It's certainly one of the causes of my weight struggles, and I firmly believe that it's responsible for the acid reflux I often experience, as well as some of the other health topics i've mentioned lately.
I've been trying hard to take care of myself a little better. REALLY take care of myself. I've been giving myself time to relax. Exercising because I know I need to, not skipping out because I feel like there are other things I NEED to do...like my volunteer work or cleaning my house, etc. That stuff can go by the wayside. And I realize I sound incredibly selfish, but guess what? Right now, it's all about ME!
I'm pretty proud of myself, too! I've started training for C25K, to run with Fat Bridesmaid in the late summer. Training has been going well, though I admit, I've fallen off the wagon a bit this weekend with two failed attempts to run with the dog, and he just hasn't behaved. It's back to the gym, or going it alone this weekend. Tomorrow I'm having a couple of girlfriends over after work for wine and dinner by the bite. Am I stressing about getting the house immaculate? No! I've picked up, I've dusted, I have a clean kitchen and (will have a) clean bathroom. So I didn't get to wash the windows...who cares? My office/desk still have a couple of piles of clutter that need a good hour of my attention to sort through. Whatever! I still have a pile of Garage Sale items to be sorted in the guest room...oh well. Do you think my friends are going to care? Not a lick. I am giving myself a much-needed break from it all!
Work has been okay of late. I've been letting things slide off my back a bit, and venting to my friend and co-worker Tim when I need to. I have been getting to the office on time, and not staying more than 30 minutes late. I get out every day at lunch for at least 10-15 minutes for fresh air and sunshine!
I started seeing an accupuncturist last weekend, and have an appointment with an herbalist next week. I'm making strides toward a healthier me, with a holistic approach to my own well-being. The accupuncture was interesting. I've been off caffeine for 6 days by his request (this is no easy task!), and have been monitoring my diet closely (though I know i'm going to be reprimanded for the 2 beers Sunday, 3 last night, and the wine tomorrow night!). I go to see him again this Saturday, and will see from there how often I want to committ to this treatment.
I hope I can report back a month from now and still say I'm doing this well in my own self-treatment! Keep your fingers crossed for me!
I've been trying hard to take care of myself a little better. REALLY take care of myself. I've been giving myself time to relax. Exercising because I know I need to, not skipping out because I feel like there are other things I NEED to do...like my volunteer work or cleaning my house, etc. That stuff can go by the wayside. And I realize I sound incredibly selfish, but guess what? Right now, it's all about ME!
I'm pretty proud of myself, too! I've started training for C25K, to run with Fat Bridesmaid in the late summer. Training has been going well, though I admit, I've fallen off the wagon a bit this weekend with two failed attempts to run with the dog, and he just hasn't behaved. It's back to the gym, or going it alone this weekend. Tomorrow I'm having a couple of girlfriends over after work for wine and dinner by the bite. Am I stressing about getting the house immaculate? No! I've picked up, I've dusted, I have a clean kitchen and (will have a) clean bathroom. So I didn't get to wash the windows...who cares? My office/desk still have a couple of piles of clutter that need a good hour of my attention to sort through. Whatever! I still have a pile of Garage Sale items to be sorted in the guest room...oh well. Do you think my friends are going to care? Not a lick. I am giving myself a much-needed break from it all!
Work has been okay of late. I've been letting things slide off my back a bit, and venting to my friend and co-worker Tim when I need to. I have been getting to the office on time, and not staying more than 30 minutes late. I get out every day at lunch for at least 10-15 minutes for fresh air and sunshine!
I started seeing an accupuncturist last weekend, and have an appointment with an herbalist next week. I'm making strides toward a healthier me, with a holistic approach to my own well-being. The accupuncture was interesting. I've been off caffeine for 6 days by his request (this is no easy task!), and have been monitoring my diet closely (though I know i'm going to be reprimanded for the 2 beers Sunday, 3 last night, and the wine tomorrow night!). I go to see him again this Saturday, and will see from there how often I want to committ to this treatment.
I hope I can report back a month from now and still say I'm doing this well in my own self-treatment! Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Friday, May 08, 2009
Gratitude
Just for my buddy, Fat Bridesmaid, here is MY list of things I am grateful for. At the end of a bad week, it's always good to start the weekend on a positive note!
My top five:
- A good thunderstorm overnight (I love being swaddled in sheets during a thunderstorm) and gorgeous sun and 70 degree weather during the day today!
- My fenced in yard, which my wonderful wonderful husband and best friend built with his own two hands. I can honestly say that throwing the frisbee in the backyard with my dog, The Mighty Quinn, never gets old!
- Having nothing to do tonight. It's a rare thing - the night is wide open for me to do whatever I want! YAY!
- A relatively quiet day at work. I'm kicking a$$ and taking names today on my to-do list.
- Flip flop weather. Need I explain it further?
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Question of the day
Here's an interesting situation I pose for you today about how to approach a personal matter with your superior at work.
A little backstory, however. I got the call today from the doctor's office. I will be going to see a fertility specialist soon, based on the doctor's referral and a discussion we are scheduled to have tomorrow.
I've been doing a bit of reading about infertility, and have suspected for quite a long time that my stress levels may be affecting my ability to get pregnant.
I changed jobs late last year. Unfortunately, I went from one very stressful situation to another. Granted I (only recently) maintain close to a 40 hour work week in this job, but from the time I enter the building to the time I escape it's highly stressful, with constant (proverbial) fire drills, a manager who works part time, is notorious for micromanagement, who also agrees to timelines and deadlines that are unreasonable more than I'd like to mention.
I REALLY don't want to confide in her about my fertility issues. But I also feel like I need to put it out there that I have a LEGITIMATE. MEDICAL. REASON. for needing FAR less stress in my work day, and being effective in that pursuit.
A couple of really helpful tips from one of the excerpts from a book i'm beginning to read states:
As a side note - I resisted the urge for ice cream, and the urge to eat after I was full with dinner. These are small wins for me in a time when i'm feeling very upset and stressed. Hooray for me!
A little backstory, however. I got the call today from the doctor's office. I will be going to see a fertility specialist soon, based on the doctor's referral and a discussion we are scheduled to have tomorrow.
I've been doing a bit of reading about infertility, and have suspected for quite a long time that my stress levels may be affecting my ability to get pregnant.
I changed jobs late last year. Unfortunately, I went from one very stressful situation to another. Granted I (only recently) maintain close to a 40 hour work week in this job, but from the time I enter the building to the time I escape it's highly stressful, with constant (proverbial) fire drills, a manager who works part time, is notorious for micromanagement, who also agrees to timelines and deadlines that are unreasonable more than I'd like to mention.
I REALLY don't want to confide in her about my fertility issues. But I also feel like I need to put it out there that I have a LEGITIMATE. MEDICAL. REASON. for needing FAR less stress in my work day, and being effective in that pursuit.
A couple of really helpful tips from one of the excerpts from a book i'm beginning to read states:
- Try to reduce stress during treatment. Taking a walk, going to a movie, reducing work, and getting a massage are examples.
- Be stingy with your personal time. Demands from family and friends as well as household chores can wait. Instead try to spend quality time with your partner. Share activities that in the past have been fun for the two of you.
As a side note - I resisted the urge for ice cream, and the urge to eat after I was full with dinner. These are small wins for me in a time when i'm feeling very upset and stressed. Hooray for me!
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Keeping my head above water
I am anticipating a very rough week this week. I know work is going to be a bear. We're hardcore trying to finish up a site that should have been done in January, and that will mostly leave me to pick up anything that is left for the week. I was so stressed out last week that it completely knocked me on my a$$ over the weekend, which resulted in me sleeping 12 hours last night and taking a 2-hour nap today. I also broke out in hives one day this week, and if the massive blotchy patches on my face and neck don't clear up soon, I'm going to have to go to the dermatologist. I have been wondering since I broke out if these were stress-related.
I'm also anticipating a call from my doctor this week. A call that is a pretty big deal to me. After over six months of fertility medications, I am expecting a call from my gynecologist to let me know that there's nothing more he can do for me, and will be referring me to a fertility specialist. I haven't talked about it much to many people, but it's just something that's bursting out of me at this point and I have to put it out there. I've been really depressed all weekend, staring at the massive bruise from the blood work that was done on Friday. I went to a wedding shower yesterday where most of the talk was about people who were pregnant, or babies. Today I was at a first communion party surrounded by babies. It's really really hard for me. I try so hard to smile and not think about it in terms of my own situation, but I haven't been very successful.
Bottom line: I don't think this medication worked (again)...just a strong hunch, and I know how upset it got me last time I heard that news. I'm trying my best to stay positive. Three of my aunts apparently had the same problems that I am having...although the medication I am taking worked for each of them - since they each have three children!
I am ready. Readier than I have ever been, to have a child. I can't stop thinking about it. I have been patient for a year now, and I am hoping and praying that we'll get to the bottom of my infertility quickly. What's really hard for me about this is being so stubborn. I am a goal-oriented person in my professional life, and I am used to working hard for something and accomplishing my goals. And this is some place where I have no control, and no matter how hard I try, what books I read, or what foods I eat, I'm not getting what I set out for. And that's one of the hardest things for me.
I am so fortunate to have a husband who is supportive, and who I know is upset about it, too, but stays strong and positive for me!
I may not address the topic again for awhile, but I'm doing my best to keep my head above water this week and moving forward.
I'm also anticipating a call from my doctor this week. A call that is a pretty big deal to me. After over six months of fertility medications, I am expecting a call from my gynecologist to let me know that there's nothing more he can do for me, and will be referring me to a fertility specialist. I haven't talked about it much to many people, but it's just something that's bursting out of me at this point and I have to put it out there. I've been really depressed all weekend, staring at the massive bruise from the blood work that was done on Friday. I went to a wedding shower yesterday where most of the talk was about people who were pregnant, or babies. Today I was at a first communion party surrounded by babies. It's really really hard for me. I try so hard to smile and not think about it in terms of my own situation, but I haven't been very successful.
Bottom line: I don't think this medication worked (again)...just a strong hunch, and I know how upset it got me last time I heard that news. I'm trying my best to stay positive. Three of my aunts apparently had the same problems that I am having...although the medication I am taking worked for each of them - since they each have three children!
I am ready. Readier than I have ever been, to have a child. I can't stop thinking about it. I have been patient for a year now, and I am hoping and praying that we'll get to the bottom of my infertility quickly. What's really hard for me about this is being so stubborn. I am a goal-oriented person in my professional life, and I am used to working hard for something and accomplishing my goals. And this is some place where I have no control, and no matter how hard I try, what books I read, or what foods I eat, I'm not getting what I set out for. And that's one of the hardest things for me.
I am so fortunate to have a husband who is supportive, and who I know is upset about it, too, but stays strong and positive for me!
I may not address the topic again for awhile, but I'm doing my best to keep my head above water this week and moving forward.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
NYC 2009
The girls' trip to NYC this past weekend was a great time! I had the pleasure of playing tourguide for most of the trip. We did a LOT of sight seeing and a LOT of shopping. I tried hard not to go wild while shopping, but I got some pretty awesome stuff, including a new snazzy swatch (my third, i'm addicted), some great new shoes and new makeup at Sephora. Here are a few photographic highlights of the trip:
Amy and I at Republic, Union Square
Very cold at the Top of the Rock with Sara and Christine
The delicious (and very expensive) martini I enjoyed in a Times Square Bar (the only way I can handle Times Square is with a drink in hand!)
More from me soon...I am finally succeeding at keeping a 40 hour work week, and have big plans to make a blog return!
Amy and I at Republic, Union Square
Very cold at the Top of the Rock with Sara and Christine
The delicious (and very expensive) martini I enjoyed in a Times Square Bar (the only way I can handle Times Square is with a drink in hand!)
More from me soon...I am finally succeeding at keeping a 40 hour work week, and have big plans to make a blog return!
Monday, April 13, 2009
A Cute Day!
The photo is a little blurry, but I felt really cute today, and had to share!
The shirt and pants are both from the Gap. The sweater I bought at the SoHo Old Navy over the weekend. The awesome pin is from the MoMA Store and was also bought over the weekend. The shoes I've had for a few years, bought at one of my favorite local shops.
The shirt and pants are both from the Gap. The sweater I bought at the SoHo Old Navy over the weekend. The awesome pin is from the MoMA Store and was also bought over the weekend. The shoes I've had for a few years, bought at one of my favorite local shops.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Success!
I have been planning a professional speaking event for nine months that happened this past Tuesday. This is one of the main reasons I have been so busy in the new year. I am happy to report that it was a raging success. I raised enough money to bring in five speakers (two local, three national) to speak on sustainability as it pertains to my profession, beginning the night with companies exhibiting their goods, and happy hour with free booze. Who doesn't love free stuff?
We sold out - 130 people. And to boot, the speakers that I had the privilege of entertaining while they were here were fantastic people. Staying up playing pool and having beers with one of your professional heroes - a guy that is WELL known throughout my profession - was just out of this world. I managed to make a few bucks on the event as well for the chapter. I came out of the event totally inspired to set some professional goals for myself and to reach out to a new contact about some insights and opportunities.
On the flip side, I'm feeling a little sad that it's all over. It was sort of like planning a wedding - you plan and plan and plan for nine months, all the people come out that you had hoped would be there, and then it's just over so quickly. And it's a little sad.
But I definitely think it's motivating me to take better care of myself. I really put myself and my health last over the past couple of months, and my body is really feeling the effects.
I'm up today to start the week off fresh with a trip to the public market and a little later, a trip to the gym.
I love the weekend!
We sold out - 130 people. And to boot, the speakers that I had the privilege of entertaining while they were here were fantastic people. Staying up playing pool and having beers with one of your professional heroes - a guy that is WELL known throughout my profession - was just out of this world. I managed to make a few bucks on the event as well for the chapter. I came out of the event totally inspired to set some professional goals for myself and to reach out to a new contact about some insights and opportunities.
On the flip side, I'm feeling a little sad that it's all over. It was sort of like planning a wedding - you plan and plan and plan for nine months, all the people come out that you had hoped would be there, and then it's just over so quickly. And it's a little sad.
But I definitely think it's motivating me to take better care of myself. I really put myself and my health last over the past couple of months, and my body is really feeling the effects.
I'm up today to start the week off fresh with a trip to the public market and a little later, a trip to the gym.
I love the weekend!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Single for a weekend
Chris is on furlough next week, and decided that it would be a good opportunity to go visit his Mom. I totally agreed, and secretly was excited that I wouldn't be going along this time.
He left last night, after I'd had an awful meeting with my boss - after week where my small team of four became a team of two. I really didn't want him to leave, but of course, I wasn't going to ask him to stay!
Thank goodness for a good night's rest and a little perspective.
Today has been really great. I love my husband, but had no idea how having today to myself would be such a good thing for me. I did run around with my friend Linda today for a bit, but I got a lot of cleaning done, treated myself to a trip to the Container Store (heaven!), and spent some quality time with the dog. I really think I just needed some time for ME. Not worrying about anything else, staying on my own agenda, and doing some things that were really fulfilling.
I'm sure by the end of tomorrow i'm going to be going crazy wishing Chris was coming back sooner than Wednesday, but for now, i'm soaking in the alone time. I forgot how much I always valued my alone time before I met him. I think it's SOOOOO healthy for both of us.
And I really can't wait for him to see all the work i've done around the house by the time he gets home on Wednesday. Cleaning and organizing has helped lift the funk i've been in for several weeks!
More coming soon - these have been some trying and very busy weeks for me!
He left last night, after I'd had an awful meeting with my boss - after week where my small team of four became a team of two. I really didn't want him to leave, but of course, I wasn't going to ask him to stay!
Thank goodness for a good night's rest and a little perspective.
Today has been really great. I love my husband, but had no idea how having today to myself would be such a good thing for me. I did run around with my friend Linda today for a bit, but I got a lot of cleaning done, treated myself to a trip to the Container Store (heaven!), and spent some quality time with the dog. I really think I just needed some time for ME. Not worrying about anything else, staying on my own agenda, and doing some things that were really fulfilling.
I'm sure by the end of tomorrow i'm going to be going crazy wishing Chris was coming back sooner than Wednesday, but for now, i'm soaking in the alone time. I forgot how much I always valued my alone time before I met him. I think it's SOOOOO healthy for both of us.
And I really can't wait for him to see all the work i've done around the house by the time he gets home on Wednesday. Cleaning and organizing has helped lift the funk i've been in for several weeks!
More coming soon - these have been some trying and very busy weeks for me!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
A Fabulous Weekend Away
I hope to post pictures soon, but Chris and I just got home from a Fabulous weekend away. Just up to Cleveland, but it was a much needed break from our normally busy lives.
We took Friday off work, and make the trip up, stopping in Old Worthington on the way to visit my friend's new wine store, and checked out a couple of other shops in that area. Then we headed up to Cleveland and checked into our room and relaxed for a bit before heading out to dinner at MY favorite Cleveland restaurant to meet old coworkers of mine. 3 hours of dinner, catching up and great conversation later, Chris and I retired to the hotel bar, for a couple of pints of Conway's Irish Ale, from our favorite brewery.
Saturday morning we headed to the West Side Market. It was fantastic. What we thought might be an hour of wandering around and grabbing breakfast, quickly turned into three hours of a fabulous brunch, and photographing and looking at all the culinary treasures. We each indulged in a sweet treat (I HEART chocolate chip cannoli!), and bought some fresh pasta, pesto and cupcakes for our friends. It was SO hard resisting so many of the other treasures there, like the fresh salsas, the vegetarian delights, the asian foods and breads. I am STILL in shock that I never managed to visit this place in the 15 months I lived in Northeast Ohio. Shame on me!
Then we headed to a hobby store, before heading out to Chardon to visit our good friends Kelly and Frank and their 4-week-old baby, Addison. Addison was just the sweetest thing and she slept on my chest for quite a long time. It was a great visit with two of our best friends and so neat to see how this baby has changed their lives and how in love they are with her! We visited with them for about 5 hours before heading back to the hotel and retiring for the night.
This morning, we got up and went for dim sum. It was fabulous. I wish we had more than just the two of us so we could have tried more than 7 of the 30+ items they offered. It's making me want to try the place near us, but i'm so afraid of being disappointed. We'll see.
Now we're home, unpacked and relaxing. And I am SOOOO not ready for tomorrow or the crazy week I KNOW I have ahead of me. Here's to a few more relaxing hours before the madness begins!
We took Friday off work, and make the trip up, stopping in Old Worthington on the way to visit my friend's new wine store, and checked out a couple of other shops in that area. Then we headed up to Cleveland and checked into our room and relaxed for a bit before heading out to dinner at MY favorite Cleveland restaurant to meet old coworkers of mine. 3 hours of dinner, catching up and great conversation later, Chris and I retired to the hotel bar, for a couple of pints of Conway's Irish Ale, from our favorite brewery.
Saturday morning we headed to the West Side Market. It was fantastic. What we thought might be an hour of wandering around and grabbing breakfast, quickly turned into three hours of a fabulous brunch, and photographing and looking at all the culinary treasures. We each indulged in a sweet treat (I HEART chocolate chip cannoli!), and bought some fresh pasta, pesto and cupcakes for our friends. It was SO hard resisting so many of the other treasures there, like the fresh salsas, the vegetarian delights, the asian foods and breads. I am STILL in shock that I never managed to visit this place in the 15 months I lived in Northeast Ohio. Shame on me!
Then we headed to a hobby store, before heading out to Chardon to visit our good friends Kelly and Frank and their 4-week-old baby, Addison. Addison was just the sweetest thing and she slept on my chest for quite a long time. It was a great visit with two of our best friends and so neat to see how this baby has changed their lives and how in love they are with her! We visited with them for about 5 hours before heading back to the hotel and retiring for the night.
This morning, we got up and went for dim sum. It was fabulous. I wish we had more than just the two of us so we could have tried more than 7 of the 30+ items they offered. It's making me want to try the place near us, but i'm so afraid of being disappointed. We'll see.
Now we're home, unpacked and relaxing. And I am SOOOO not ready for tomorrow or the crazy week I KNOW I have ahead of me. Here's to a few more relaxing hours before the madness begins!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
A Long Overdue Update
I haven't written here in a long while. I've fallen off the wagon, unfortunately, and haven't been able to get back on just yet. I am trying every day. I just need to DO IT. That's why I've been reluctant to write. Lots of things have been holding me up. I'm taking some medication that's really screwing with me emotionally, not to mention the headaches, the nausea and just feeling down about taking this particular medication at all. I can't say i've gorged myself too much, but I haven't been making an effort to plan my meals as much, and I certainly haven't been exercising.
This weekend has gotten off to a better start. I made whole grain blueberry pancakes yesterday and froze them for breakfasts over the next several weeks. Tonight I'm making a new asian dish from my Bon AppetÃt magazine. I bought the stuff to make my favorite turkey chili recipe today, baby spinach salad ingredients, along with some good grab and go snacks for work like baked tostitos and salsa, and yogurt. I know if I get back on track i'm bound to pop out of this mental fog that I have been in. I have downloaded two episodes of Flight of the Conchordes for working out either later tonight or tomorrow. Menstrual cramps be damned!
*****
The guy at the gym update: Thanks to everyone who expressed their concern and advice about the situation. A few days later, i went back to the gym, and the same gentleman was sitting at the desk. As I checked in and said hello, he stood up and looked at my left hand as I scanned in. He did this very deliberately but looked right at my wedding band and said "OH, Nicole! I'm so sorry!" He then proceeded to apologize saying that he didn't realize i was married, and that he shouldn't have said what he said to me. I told him I appreciate the apology, and that I thought he was aware that I was married (afterall, I have specifically mentioned my husband to him on more than one occasion). And I haven't been back to the gym in two weeks. I'm sure he thinks i'm avoiding him. Which isn't the case (i'm just lazy and well...see above:) ), but it amuses me to think that he may be fretting it.
This weekend has gotten off to a better start. I made whole grain blueberry pancakes yesterday and froze them for breakfasts over the next several weeks. Tonight I'm making a new asian dish from my Bon AppetÃt magazine. I bought the stuff to make my favorite turkey chili recipe today, baby spinach salad ingredients, along with some good grab and go snacks for work like baked tostitos and salsa, and yogurt. I know if I get back on track i'm bound to pop out of this mental fog that I have been in. I have downloaded two episodes of Flight of the Conchordes for working out either later tonight or tomorrow. Menstrual cramps be damned!
*****
The guy at the gym update: Thanks to everyone who expressed their concern and advice about the situation. A few days later, i went back to the gym, and the same gentleman was sitting at the desk. As I checked in and said hello, he stood up and looked at my left hand as I scanned in. He did this very deliberately but looked right at my wedding band and said "OH, Nicole! I'm so sorry!" He then proceeded to apologize saying that he didn't realize i was married, and that he shouldn't have said what he said to me. I told him I appreciate the apology, and that I thought he was aware that I was married (afterall, I have specifically mentioned my husband to him on more than one occasion). And I haven't been back to the gym in two weeks. I'm sure he thinks i'm avoiding him. Which isn't the case (i'm just lazy and well...see above:) ), but it amuses me to think that he may be fretting it.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Guy Who Works At the Gym Update
Last night, as I was checking into the gym, "Monty" said hello to me, and asked me who I was. Completely normal. I just said "I'm fine. I'm here." Because I REALLY didn't want to be, and I literally dragged myself there, with Chris behind me cheering me out the front door at home.
I started to walk away from the desk, after I had signed in, and toward the locker rooms.
Monty starts to walk in the same direction and says, "You know I have a crush on you, Nicole."
I dismissed him and said "You're silly." I was totally shocked.
He looked at me and said "I'm being serious, don't you believe me?"
And I said "Well...um...I'm flattered, I guess?"
Then Monty said, "You GUESS? Aww man, I'm going to stop now." And walked away.
And that was the end of our conversation. And now it's TOTALLY awkward. He walked away before I could tell him that I was married, and he barely looked at me as I left (not that this is a bad thing!).
Chris really wants me to either make a point of saying something to him tonight when I go back, or calling his manager. And I'm not a big fan of confronting conflict. I told him I'd rather go check out the YMCA's gym and look into joining there. Ha.
I started to walk away from the desk, after I had signed in, and toward the locker rooms.
Monty starts to walk in the same direction and says, "You know I have a crush on you, Nicole."
I dismissed him and said "You're silly." I was totally shocked.
He looked at me and said "I'm being serious, don't you believe me?"
And I said "Well...um...I'm flattered, I guess?"
Then Monty said, "You GUESS? Aww man, I'm going to stop now." And walked away.
And that was the end of our conversation. And now it's TOTALLY awkward. He walked away before I could tell him that I was married, and he barely looked at me as I left (not that this is a bad thing!).
Chris really wants me to either make a point of saying something to him tonight when I go back, or calling his manager. And I'm not a big fan of confronting conflict. I told him I'd rather go check out the YMCA's gym and look into joining there. Ha.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Posting more interesting content soon...
But for now...
Another 2 pound loss for the week when I stepped on the scale. I was VERY excited!
Grand total: 6 pounds lost in 2009.
Another 2 pound loss for the week when I stepped on the scale. I was VERY excited!
Grand total: 6 pounds lost in 2009.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Very Quick Update
I started back on Weight Watchers about 10 days ago, and weighed in Friday with a 4 pound loss that I was VERY proud of. I'm experimenting a bit with some things this time to help myself stay on track. And I'm figuring out a few things about myself:
• I do better staying on track if I don't deprive myself. I'm allocating Saturday's as "cheat" days. That basically mean's i'm working to keep my flex points for Saturdays so I can enjoy a glass of wine or two, and nibble on an appetizer before a meal out.
• I've realized what I don't like about my workout routine: weight machines. I'm okay with not doing them everytime. Right now i'm doing 45 mins on the arc trainer 4-5 times per week, and weights one day a week. I even took a Pilates class last week (which I skipped today because my back was hurting for some reason). I'm very proud of my commitment to the gym so far!
• In a little under two weeks I've already felt a difference in my jeans. And it's motivating me to keep going. I need to keep trying on clothes that were tight or couldn't wear to see how i'm progressing and really feel the difference!
• I do better staying on track if I don't deprive myself. I'm allocating Saturday's as "cheat" days. That basically mean's i'm working to keep my flex points for Saturdays so I can enjoy a glass of wine or two, and nibble on an appetizer before a meal out.
• I've realized what I don't like about my workout routine: weight machines. I'm okay with not doing them everytime. Right now i'm doing 45 mins on the arc trainer 4-5 times per week, and weights one day a week. I even took a Pilates class last week (which I skipped today because my back was hurting for some reason). I'm very proud of my commitment to the gym so far!
• In a little under two weeks I've already felt a difference in my jeans. And it's motivating me to keep going. I need to keep trying on clothes that were tight or couldn't wear to see how i'm progressing and really feel the difference!
Monday, January 05, 2009
The Guy Who Works At the Gym Dilemma
I have been going to the same gym for almost 3 years. Not always as frequently as I need to be going, but I've been paying my dues there for that long. And through that time, there has only been one face that has remained the same: the guy who sold me my membership there the first day that I walked in. Let's call him Monty.
For almost 3 years, Monty has been on the night shift, working the desk when I walk in - anywhere between 8-9:30pm. That's my usual time for a visit (though i've had short stints of going at 6am that are always short-lived). Monty has always been extremely nice. Always happy to see me. Always fun to talk to, because he will do silly things like applaud when I come in the door for being there, even when I don't want to be. He'll praise me for the hard work when I leave, and he has always remembered my name (even if he does call me by my birth name, and not the name I actually go by!).
I hadn't been to the gym since the new job started until December 29th. It's really sad, I know. When I walked in that evening, Monty yelled out to me as I walked in the door that he was JUST thinking about me and wondering if I still belonged there. I smiled, scanned in and walked on by, a little embarrassed. As I came out of the locker room, iPod and water bottle in-hand, I asked Monty how his Christmas was. He suddenly got really sad and told me that all he wanted for Christmas was a hug and nobody got him one. This was the worst attempt at a pickup line I had ever heard, and I just giggled nervously. He then began to lay on the guilt with me about laughing at him and that he really just needed a hug. Finally, I caved and hugged the poor guy. It was harmless. It was over in 2 seconds and I was on my way.
The next day, I walked into the gym, said hello to Monty, and worked out. As I was leaving, he followed me out the door. I turned around to look at him, because it kind of startled me. And he looked at me and said "Nicole, if I could rearrange the alphabet...i'd put U and I together." And again, I just laughed nervously and kept walking. I really don't know what to do with that.
Fast forward to tonight. At this point, I've told the husband about these little incidents. And I left the house with a *slightly* jealous husband, and a conscious decision to wear my wedding rings (which i never wear to work out) to the gym, just in case the guy didn't know I am married. I walked in, and Monty stopped his conversation with another person at the desk to ask how I am, and how I liked the class I took yesterday. I told him I was very sore from it, but that it was great, and I kept moving. I hopped on the arc trainer, and about 31 minutes into my workout, Monty hops onto the machine RIGHT NEXT TO ME (with 6 other machines in the row open). I have never EVER seen this man work out while i've been there. Not in three years. He hops on with a big grin and looks over at what's on my iPod and smiles. I just ignored him. I did not take off my headphones, and I didn't really even acknowledge him. I was totally uncomfortable at this point. My 35 minutes was up, and I hopped off of the machine and into the locker room. I decided to leave because I was still very sore from yesterday, and wasn't going to do weights, and the cardio was definitely enough for my body tonight. As I walked out of the locker room, Monty is walking back to the desk. He couldn't have been on that machine for more than 5 mins (what's the point), and he's there just in time to tell me goodbye, and that he hopes to see me soon.
Now this is a bit of a dilemma for me because I don't think i'm imagining that this man is seriously flirting with me. And really, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't have it in me to say anything to the guy - unless he makes some sort of seriously inappropriate advance. And I don't plan to change my workout time. Does that mean I have to change gyms? Or do I just grin and bear it? At first it was kind of funny - I mean, it's been awhile since anyone besides my husband has flirted with me. But it's not so innocent anymore, you know? It's getting a little weird!
And I guess I just needed to vent it here! Ha! :)
For almost 3 years, Monty has been on the night shift, working the desk when I walk in - anywhere between 8-9:30pm. That's my usual time for a visit (though i've had short stints of going at 6am that are always short-lived). Monty has always been extremely nice. Always happy to see me. Always fun to talk to, because he will do silly things like applaud when I come in the door for being there, even when I don't want to be. He'll praise me for the hard work when I leave, and he has always remembered my name (even if he does call me by my birth name, and not the name I actually go by!).
I hadn't been to the gym since the new job started until December 29th. It's really sad, I know. When I walked in that evening, Monty yelled out to me as I walked in the door that he was JUST thinking about me and wondering if I still belonged there. I smiled, scanned in and walked on by, a little embarrassed. As I came out of the locker room, iPod and water bottle in-hand, I asked Monty how his Christmas was. He suddenly got really sad and told me that all he wanted for Christmas was a hug and nobody got him one. This was the worst attempt at a pickup line I had ever heard, and I just giggled nervously. He then began to lay on the guilt with me about laughing at him and that he really just needed a hug. Finally, I caved and hugged the poor guy. It was harmless. It was over in 2 seconds and I was on my way.
The next day, I walked into the gym, said hello to Monty, and worked out. As I was leaving, he followed me out the door. I turned around to look at him, because it kind of startled me. And he looked at me and said "Nicole, if I could rearrange the alphabet...i'd put U and I together." And again, I just laughed nervously and kept walking. I really don't know what to do with that.
Fast forward to tonight. At this point, I've told the husband about these little incidents. And I left the house with a *slightly* jealous husband, and a conscious decision to wear my wedding rings (which i never wear to work out) to the gym, just in case the guy didn't know I am married. I walked in, and Monty stopped his conversation with another person at the desk to ask how I am, and how I liked the class I took yesterday. I told him I was very sore from it, but that it was great, and I kept moving. I hopped on the arc trainer, and about 31 minutes into my workout, Monty hops onto the machine RIGHT NEXT TO ME (with 6 other machines in the row open). I have never EVER seen this man work out while i've been there. Not in three years. He hops on with a big grin and looks over at what's on my iPod and smiles. I just ignored him. I did not take off my headphones, and I didn't really even acknowledge him. I was totally uncomfortable at this point. My 35 minutes was up, and I hopped off of the machine and into the locker room. I decided to leave because I was still very sore from yesterday, and wasn't going to do weights, and the cardio was definitely enough for my body tonight. As I walked out of the locker room, Monty is walking back to the desk. He couldn't have been on that machine for more than 5 mins (what's the point), and he's there just in time to tell me goodbye, and that he hopes to see me soon.
Now this is a bit of a dilemma for me because I don't think i'm imagining that this man is seriously flirting with me. And really, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't have it in me to say anything to the guy - unless he makes some sort of seriously inappropriate advance. And I don't plan to change my workout time. Does that mean I have to change gyms? Or do I just grin and bear it? At first it was kind of funny - I mean, it's been awhile since anyone besides my husband has flirted with me. But it's not so innocent anymore, you know? It's getting a little weird!
And I guess I just needed to vent it here! Ha! :)
Saturday, January 03, 2009
2008: A Year in Review
In response to Fat Bridesmaid's fun questionnaire:
Happy New Year!
- Was 2008 good for you? It was a good year. There were some ups, and a lot of downs, but it doesn't do me any good to be negative about it. I learned a lot about myself. I had another year of good health and growing even closer with my husband. How is that not good, right?
- What was your favorite moment of the year? I definitely have two. Sitting on a dock on Lake Ontario at dusk with Chris. It was so peaceful, and something I'll never forget. And watching the Obama win announcement with Chris, my favorite cousin and other family on election night.
- What was your worst moment of the year? Probably the day I worked from 7:15am to 11:30 pm at my new job and knew I had to be up at 4:30 the next morning to drive to C-bus to catch a flight. The job is definitely getting a little better, but for awhile I was worried that I went from bad to worse.
- Where were you when 2008 began? At my parents "River" home in IN, with Chris, my parents and cousins Mike and Karen. We played Tripoley and drank a LOT of wine. It was really fun.
- Who were you with? See above.
- Where were you when 2008 ended? With Chris across the street playing dominoes with the neighbors.
- Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008? My resolution was to lose weight. I dropped 20 pounds, but gained it all back (and then some).
- Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? I joined Weight Watchers again on Dec. 26th, but i'm not making it a resolution this year. I'm just focusing on making time to take care of myself - to eat right, to work out, and to find the time to do the things *I* need to do. I'm also majorly cutting my spending habits to *hopefully* pay off all of my credit card debt that's been looming, so I can focus on saving/investing for other things.
- Did you fall in love in 2008? I fall in love with Chris every day. He's my best friend and I'm so thankful for him every day.
- Did you make any new friends in 2008? My friend Tim at the new job. Amy at the old job (who sadly, I just met before I left). My coworker from the old job Sara and I have started hanging out almost weekly, and I'm so thankful for that.
- What was your favorite month of 2008? October - A trip to Shaker Village, I had 10 days off, and we got to take a great trip to DC.
- Why this month? Time with friends and family, and time to RELAX.
- Did you travel outside of the US in 2008? Yes, to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Toronto. I LOVE Toronto
- How many different places did you travel to in 2008? Louisville, Cleveland, DC, Toronoto , Niagara, New York, Omaha, Shaker Village
- Did you miss anybody in the past year? I missed my friend Jen. I don't get to talk to her nearly as much as I used to, and the overnight with her family in DC was such a tease!
- What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? I loved Lars and the Real Girl.
- What was your favorite song from 2008? Oh gosh. ANYTHING off of that Vampire Weekend Album.
- How many concerts or plays did you see in 2008? We saw Ella at Playhouse in the Park, and Wicked at the Aronoff Center. In concert I saw DMB, Tegan and Sara, Springsteen, Paul Thorn, The National, The Breeders...wow. Not nearly enough!
- Did you have a favorite concert in 2008? The National/Breeders show. Which was also an Obama Rally. It was fantastic.
- What was your favorite book in 2008? The Kite Runner. It was the only book I finished this year (it's been such a busy, busy year), but it was fantastic.
- Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? I really let stress overtake me and lost total control of my health. I'm also ashamed of how hard I was to live with for a few months while the stress took over in my life.
- What was the biggest lie you told in 2008? Any time my old co-workers told me they didn't want me to leave because of how things were going for my team and I told them not to worry.
- Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? I definitely could have been nicer to my husband sometimes. Sadly, he bears the worst of my moods sometimes.
- Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? It's not worth hashing out here. ;)
- What was your proudest moment of 2008? The moment I felt like I was finally taking control of my finances. It sure did feel good!
- What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? It's definitely not an bad embarrassing moment - but having about 40-50 people in a room singing happy birthday to me was pretty embarrassing (but good!). I don't like that much attention, generally.
- If you could go back to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? I might have approached some of those job interviews differently. And I would have stopped myself when I was eating when I wasn't hungry, or even enjoying what I was eating.
- Where did you work in 2008? At my old job, and now at my new one.
- Favorite TV shows(s) of 2008? The Office and Sunday Morning. Grey's has started to get dumb.
- Favorite Band(s) of 2008? The National, She & Him, Vampire Weekend
- Favorite Food in 2008? A Green Papaya Roll!
- Favorite Drink in 2008? Vitamin Water
- Favorite Place in 2008? Home sweet home. But close seconds are: Park + Vine (my friend's store!), Coffee Emporium, and Green Papaya
- Favorite person(s) to be with in 2008? My Husband, and surprisingly - my brother. We really worked on fixing our friendship in 2008, and I enjoyed every minute with him.
- Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2008? My neighbor. She cracks me up.
- Favorite trip in 2008? Toronto, for sure!
- Favorite stores in 2008? Park + Vine, the Apple Store, Whole Foods, Dean's Mediterranean Imports
- Hardest thing you had to go through in 2008? New job transition
- Most exciting moment(s) in 2008? Buying a new car, a good client presentation in New York, and trying chicken feet for dim sum. ;)
- Funniest moment(s) in 2008? The "question and answer game" with friends, the girly slumber party, dinner at GP with James and the girls.
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