Staying Positive

I hopped on the scale this morning, really excited to weigh myself after a week of good eating. My only real splurge for the week was going out to the Indian Buffet yesterday, and I think I made pretty good choices. I had half a piece of Naan, which is no small feat. I chose a bit of Aloo Paneer and a chick pea/tomato sauce item with some rice. I probably had a full cup of rice. It wasn't awful. I also had a Christmas cookie mid week. I counted both of these things.

It's frustrating to work out like I did, and eat well and NOT eat out, and find that you've only lost 1 pound. One stinking pound. It's a loss, I know that, but my first reaction was to throw in the towel and ask myself why I am doing this.

Then I remembered how great I've felt all week. How much stronger I feel already. And I sat down and looked at my food tracker and identified some other areas where I could have made better choices, and resolved that next week's goal will be to do at least 4 workouts that burn 800 calories or more, instead of 400. Then I decided to do something nice for myself. I watched a video on creating the "smoky eye" with makeup and proceeded to apply the technique and give myself some extra time to get ready and feel good about myself today, celebrating the loss I had! I was pretty happy with the results!


An image taken on the camera of my laptop, sitting at my desk at work.

Here's to a great week two!

On Second Thought...

Maybe my hiatus will be short-lived here. I thought about this long and hard over the last month while my postings have been pretty light. But i'm moving forward with this blog, even though I have days and weeks when I don't feel like writing, or wonder if this blog is really serving any purpose. Today I realized it's serving a good purpose to myself for recording my life in some aspects, as well as my triumphs and my struggles.

Last week was a pretty rough one for me. The weekend turned out to be really great. I have my ups and my downs, but doesn't everybody? What has really struck a chord with me the past couple of days is that THIS TIME when I had the roughest of weeks, I didn't fall back on food. I stayed on track. I ate right. I resisted the sweets - without blinking an eye. And I plan to get back to the exercise regimen tomorrow (the virus i've had is finally clearing up enough that I feel up for a session on the elliptical, or maybe at least a long walk with the dog tomorrow morning).

I have truly made a life change for myself this time. It's been a month, and i've lost 9 pounds. Not bad, right? I have more energy than I've had in years! My summer capris that I was lamenting a month ago which didn't fit? I'm back in them again! I realize that in all my years of doing Weight Watchers, i never really gave up the things that are not good for me, I just compensated in other ways. And really, once you've given them up for a couple of weeks, the cravings aren't so bad.

So, what am I doing?

• Eating Whole Grains (no white flour)
• Eating LOTS of fruits and vegetables (especially green ones!)
• Eating lean protein (beans and chicken are my friend!)
• Drinking LOTS of water
• Cut out the caffeine (yes, really - and I was a coffee and diet coke fanatic! though i do have the occasional green tea 1-2 times per week)
• Cut out the sugar (i've had only 3 servings of sugary food items in 4 weeks...)
• Cut out the artificial sweetener
• Exercising a bunch (training with the C25K program and doing the elliptical machine so that I at least get 30 mins of cardio every day).
• Taking my vitamins! I've never been very good at this before.
• Taking time for myself - i've been planning less for my social life, and purposely scheduling nights to myself each week to plan meals, relax, read, and overall de-stress (if you don't recall, I am a stress eater!)

The Sugar Hangover

So after a week of not eating sugar, except for in my fruit, I splurged last night on a scrumptious home made (by me) berry shortcake with homemade pound cake and whipped cream dessert. Only half of the portion I gave my friends, but still delicious, with the intent that I would not allow myself another sugary serving of something for another week.
And today I really really felt it. I was sluggish all morning. The dog woke me at 8am (i usually am up at least an hour before then), and I really couldn't feel awake at all for the next two hours. At 10:30 I dragged myself to Target and then to the gym. And running on the treadmill for 30 mins or so really helped. Chris called this my "sugar hangover" and that's absolutely what it was. I can't wait to get back into the groove of the work week and count calories and eat right. Sounds crazy, but I really am excited about this.

I had the distinct honor of hanging with Fat Bridesmaid this evening. We went for a walk, hung out at a great Northern Kentucky Bar for a cocktail (with a great view of the Cincinnati skyline), and we chatted it up for a few hours. Aside from talking about food and work and life, I told her how I really felt like I was in my groove, and this was how I was going to get to my goal of a healthier me. And I meant it.

It was the perfect lazy Sunday. Sugar hangover and all! More coming soon about healing...stay tuned...

Hooray!

Although I was hoping for larger results after my hard work this week...i'm down 3 pounds. And I'll take it. Being three pounds lighter is excellent. I hope to drop another 10 in the next month so some of my summer clothes will fit that don't currently...

Week Two :: No Sugar

This week at accupuncture, my Dr. took a look at my food journal and said he was very proud of my food choices, and portion sizes, and the fact that I have a lot of fruits, veggies, whole grains and nuts in my diet. He asked me to make sure I incorporated fish at least three times per week (I had it twice), but said my biggest problem area is my sugar intake. I know I am a sugar FANATIC. He asked me to work to cut it out completely. Now I realize that a little bit in moderation is okay. But I also realize i'm not so good at eating sugar in moderation.
Right now i'm on day three of no sugar. Day one went just fine. Day two was rough...to say the least. I was really grouchy and moody all day. And my poor husband can't win. He wanted to stop for soft-serve ice cream after a long drive and a picnic with the dog, and I shot him dirty looks. We passed a bakery (my husband cannot pass a mom and pop bakery without stopping in...they are so few and far between these days), and of course wanted to go in, and I told him i would be really mad if he did. HAHA. He just kept forgetting, and I was getting into a bit of a funk feeling so limited. I just counted all my calories for yesterday though and still kept at 1700 calories. The doctor asked me to stay between 1800-2000. I'd like to stay closer to or below 1500. I think I can do that for the rest of the week for sure. (last night also involved a few beers and eating out at a diner-style restaurant, where I purposely put half of my meal in a to-go container before I ate...and fed it to the dog this morning. :)

I am making strides for myself...and i'm proud of the progress so far. Today is going to be a better day than yesterday!

Letting Go of Stress

The past several weeks have helped me to realize that i need to learn to let go of some of my stress. It's certainly one of the causes of my weight struggles, and I firmly believe that it's responsible for the acid reflux I often experience, as well as some of the other health topics i've mentioned lately.

I've been trying hard to take care of myself a little better. REALLY take care of myself. I've been giving myself time to relax. Exercising because I know I need to, not skipping out because I feel like there are other things I NEED to do...like my volunteer work or cleaning my house, etc. That stuff can go by the wayside. And I realize I sound incredibly selfish, but guess what? Right now, it's all about ME!

I'm pretty proud of myself, too! I've started training for C25K, to run with Fat Bridesmaid in the late summer. Training has been going well, though I admit, I've fallen off the wagon a bit this weekend with two failed attempts to run with the dog, and he just hasn't behaved. It's back to the gym, or going it alone this weekend. Tomorrow I'm having a couple of girlfriends over after work for wine and dinner by the bite. Am I stressing about getting the house immaculate? No! I've picked up, I've dusted, I have a clean kitchen and (will have a) clean bathroom. So I didn't get to wash the windows...who cares? My office/desk still have a couple of piles of clutter that need a good hour of my attention to sort through. Whatever! I still have a pile of Garage Sale items to be sorted in the guest room...oh well. Do you think my friends are going to care? Not a lick. I am giving myself a much-needed break from it all!

Work has been okay of late. I've been letting things slide off my back a bit, and venting to my friend and co-worker Tim when I need to. I have been getting to the office on time, and not staying more than 30 minutes late. I get out every day at lunch for at least 10-15 minutes for fresh air and sunshine!

I started seeing an accupuncturist last weekend, and have an appointment with an herbalist next week. I'm making strides toward a healthier me, with a holistic approach to my own well-being. The accupuncture was interesting. I've been off caffeine for 6 days by his request (this is no easy task!), and have been monitoring my diet closely (though I know i'm going to be reprimanded for the 2 beers Sunday, 3 last night, and the wine tomorrow night!). I go to see him again this Saturday, and will see from there how often I want to committ to this treatment.

I hope I can report back a month from now and still say I'm doing this well in my own self-treatment! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

A Long Overdue Update

I haven't written here in a long while. I've fallen off the wagon, unfortunately, and haven't been able to get back on just yet. I am trying every day. I just need to DO IT. That's why I've been reluctant to write. Lots of things have been holding me up. I'm taking some medication that's really screwing with me emotionally, not to mention the headaches, the nausea and just feeling down about taking this particular medication at all. I can't say i've gorged myself too much, but I haven't been making an effort to plan my meals as much, and I certainly haven't been exercising.

This weekend has gotten off to a better start. I made whole grain blueberry pancakes yesterday and froze them for breakfasts over the next several weeks. Tonight I'm making a new asian dish from my Bon Appetít magazine. I bought the stuff to make my favorite turkey chili recipe today, baby spinach salad ingredients, along with some good grab and go snacks for work like baked tostitos and salsa, and yogurt. I know if I get back on track i'm bound to pop out of this mental fog that I have been in. I have downloaded two episodes of Flight of the Conchordes for working out either later tonight or tomorrow. Menstrual cramps be damned!

*****
The guy at the gym update: Thanks to everyone who expressed their concern and advice about the situation. A few days later, i went back to the gym, and the same gentleman was sitting at the desk. As I checked in and said hello, he stood up and looked at my left hand as I scanned in. He did this very deliberately but looked right at my wedding band and said "OH, Nicole! I'm so sorry!" He then proceeded to apologize saying that he didn't realize i was married, and that he shouldn't have said what he said to me. I told him I appreciate the apology, and that I thought he was aware that I was married (afterall, I have specifically mentioned my husband to him on more than one occasion). And I haven't been back to the gym in two weeks. I'm sure he thinks i'm avoiding him. Which isn't the case (i'm just lazy and well...see above:) ), but it amuses me to think that he may be fretting it.

A Very Quick Update

I started back on Weight Watchers about 10 days ago, and weighed in Friday with a 4 pound loss that I was VERY proud of. I'm experimenting a bit with some things this time to help myself stay on track. And I'm figuring out a few things about myself:

• I do better staying on track if I don't deprive myself. I'm allocating Saturday's as "cheat" days. That basically mean's i'm working to keep my flex points for Saturdays so I can enjoy a glass of wine or two, and nibble on an appetizer before a meal out.

• I've realized what I don't like about my workout routine: weight machines. I'm okay with not doing them everytime. Right now i'm doing 45 mins on the arc trainer 4-5 times per week, and weights one day a week. I even took a Pilates class last week (which I skipped today because my back was hurting for some reason). I'm very proud of my commitment to the gym so far!

• In a little under two weeks I've already felt a difference in my jeans. And it's motivating me to keep going. I need to keep trying on clothes that were tight or couldn't wear to see how i'm progressing and really feel the difference!

Taking my life back

Today was the day that my boss told the office I was leaving. It was a bit of a wild day. A woman I work with who used to be a boss of mine pulled me in her office and started crying, and told me that I needed to help fill my position and interview candidates before I leave. Ugh.

Regardless, I was in at 8am (a tad early), took a 90 minute lunch, and left at 5pm. And I haven't been more productive in months at home! I came home, had some dinner and sent several emails i've been neglecting to send for my professional association.

Then I walked with the dog, talked with my neighbor friend, did dishes, cleaned up my kitchen, put away several items that belonged in the basement, did two loads of laundry (and folded it!), vacuumed upstairs and down, and dusted the woodwork and furniture upstairs. Tomorrow night, Chris and I are going to tackle the yard. It desperately needs to be weeded.

I'm so excited to have energy back! I feel like I have my life back. It's WONDERFUL. I really hope this continues into my new job, because I really had no idea how much the stress was taking out of me until tonight. I feel like a new person.

Now i'm going to go curl up with my husband, who just got home from a late city council meeting!

Health Update!

Warning: If you don't like reading about female cycles, please don't keep reading!

About three months ago, I calculated how long i've been regulating my menstrual cycle with birth control. It was a really long time - 6 years.

I decided to go off of the pill and instantly felt a difference in my energy levels, hunger levels, sleep patterns, etc. It was fantastic. That was in May. It's almost September now, and I haven't had a period since that point.

Last week on my other (now retired) blog, I mentioned that I had some tests done. There are a lot of factors that could weigh into all of this besides being on the pill for six months, one of them being the incredible amounts of stress i'm undergoing at work these days.

I had blood work done to check my glucose, my cholesterol, my thyroid gland and several types of hormone deficiencies. I was terrified, and I weighed in at 24 pounds more than I weighed last summer, which absolutely disgusted me. What am I doing to myself?

Well I received the test results last Tuesday, after what seemed like a lot of waiting - and everything came back completely NORMAL. I'm so relieved. I'm on some meds to get back on track with my cycle - just for 10 days though.

But i'm using this to kick myself into gear for what I need to be doing for my own self and my own health. I'm getting more rest. I'm cutting back my eating out. I'm drinking more water, and i'm generally just looking out for myself more. Now the eating and the working out has always been a struggle, but i'm working on it, and I will get there. I'm just so thankful that I have a clean bill of health. Now I just need to focus on eating right and really seriously losing weight.

And i'll admit it, I'm presenting this here for some moral support; I really can use it!