Staying Positive

I hopped on the scale this morning, really excited to weigh myself after a week of good eating. My only real splurge for the week was going out to the Indian Buffet yesterday, and I think I made pretty good choices. I had half a piece of Naan, which is no small feat. I chose a bit of Aloo Paneer and a chick pea/tomato sauce item with some rice. I probably had a full cup of rice. It wasn't awful. I also had a Christmas cookie mid week. I counted both of these things.

It's frustrating to work out like I did, and eat well and NOT eat out, and find that you've only lost 1 pound. One stinking pound. It's a loss, I know that, but my first reaction was to throw in the towel and ask myself why I am doing this.

Then I remembered how great I've felt all week. How much stronger I feel already. And I sat down and looked at my food tracker and identified some other areas where I could have made better choices, and resolved that next week's goal will be to do at least 4 workouts that burn 800 calories or more, instead of 400. Then I decided to do something nice for myself. I watched a video on creating the "smoky eye" with makeup and proceeded to apply the technique and give myself some extra time to get ready and feel good about myself today, celebrating the loss I had! I was pretty happy with the results!


An image taken on the camera of my laptop, sitting at my desk at work.

Here's to a great week two!

Holiday Slump

It's been a funny holiday season in our house. I've really been in the holiday spirit, moreso than years past, but not so much in the spirit to concentrate on myself, as my plans included in my last blog posting. I have lost a few pounds in the last month or two, but not because of a healthy plan for living - because I haven't been snacking, and most weekends i'm only eating one meal a day. I'm thinking about food far less as my mind is consumed with other things these days.

The more I think about it, it makes sense to me why I don't want to devote that time and energy. I am keeping myself busy, but I am doing anything I can to avoid really thinking about what's been going on in my life for the last year. When I have the down time, I get really down. I've been keeping myself busy with Christmas baking, holiday cards, gift wrapping and decorating.

Now I can say my baking is nearing an end (only 4 more batches to make - I should have them done by the weekend), my Christmas cards are out, my house is decorated and my shopping is done (most of the wrapping is done, too!). Yesterday it all hit me like a ton of bricks as I took the evening off to relax and found myself lounging on the couch with some sappy movies and a box of tissues.

As I approach the New Year, i'm preparing for reality to hit. I'm working on a household budget, and trying really hard to talk myself into a healthy diet an exercise plan that I can settle into. I've started a list of creative projects for myself, including an Etsy shop to sell some of these projects (I am thinking birthday, birth announcements, wedding and baby shower and thank you cards, mostly). I'm trying to carve out some time to market myself as a freelance designer as well. I think keeping busy is going to be the key to staying on track.

Not exactly a New Year's resolution yet, but I'm getting there. What are you working towards this Holiday season?

My Guiltiest Pleasures

I figured i'd start a little meme up here with some of my guilty pleasures. Things I don't normally admit too much to. Just for fun. Here goes:

1. 90210 (the original, and preferrably the high school years). It's on SoapNet nightly, and I watch it far too often!
2. Justin Timberlake. For real. Love him. And I'm such a music snob otherwise.
3. Crocs. I'll admit it, they're ugly as sin. But they are comfortable and I wear them around the house and the neighborhood all the time. But I will often deny their existence to my designer friends. :)
4. Michelina's Lean Gourmet Buffalo Chicken Rolls. I know they're packed full of preservatives and even though they say they're low fat, they're not good for me in any way. But once in awhile, they sure do curb that craving for buffalo wings instead of fatty greasy wings!
5. Target. Yes, I'm all about supporting local businesses, buying green products, whole foods and sustainable items. But a girl can't find plus size organic cotton/hemp/whatever clothing in boutique shops, unfortunately. I've always had a secret love for Target. It didn't always used to be so secret. But I definitely only make about 3 trips yearly, as opposed to the weekly trips I made previously.

What are your five guiltiest pleasures? Share them here or post them to your blog!

The Sugar Hangover

So after a week of not eating sugar, except for in my fruit, I splurged last night on a scrumptious home made (by me) berry shortcake with homemade pound cake and whipped cream dessert. Only half of the portion I gave my friends, but still delicious, with the intent that I would not allow myself another sugary serving of something for another week.
And today I really really felt it. I was sluggish all morning. The dog woke me at 8am (i usually am up at least an hour before then), and I really couldn't feel awake at all for the next two hours. At 10:30 I dragged myself to Target and then to the gym. And running on the treadmill for 30 mins or so really helped. Chris called this my "sugar hangover" and that's absolutely what it was. I can't wait to get back into the groove of the work week and count calories and eat right. Sounds crazy, but I really am excited about this.

I had the distinct honor of hanging with Fat Bridesmaid this evening. We went for a walk, hung out at a great Northern Kentucky Bar for a cocktail (with a great view of the Cincinnati skyline), and we chatted it up for a few hours. Aside from talking about food and work and life, I told her how I really felt like I was in my groove, and this was how I was going to get to my goal of a healthier me. And I meant it.

It was the perfect lazy Sunday. Sugar hangover and all! More coming soon about healing...stay tuned...

Week Two :: No Sugar

This week at accupuncture, my Dr. took a look at my food journal and said he was very proud of my food choices, and portion sizes, and the fact that I have a lot of fruits, veggies, whole grains and nuts in my diet. He asked me to make sure I incorporated fish at least three times per week (I had it twice), but said my biggest problem area is my sugar intake. I know I am a sugar FANATIC. He asked me to work to cut it out completely. Now I realize that a little bit in moderation is okay. But I also realize i'm not so good at eating sugar in moderation.
Right now i'm on day three of no sugar. Day one went just fine. Day two was rough...to say the least. I was really grouchy and moody all day. And my poor husband can't win. He wanted to stop for soft-serve ice cream after a long drive and a picnic with the dog, and I shot him dirty looks. We passed a bakery (my husband cannot pass a mom and pop bakery without stopping in...they are so few and far between these days), and of course wanted to go in, and I told him i would be really mad if he did. HAHA. He just kept forgetting, and I was getting into a bit of a funk feeling so limited. I just counted all my calories for yesterday though and still kept at 1700 calories. The doctor asked me to stay between 1800-2000. I'd like to stay closer to or below 1500. I think I can do that for the rest of the week for sure. (last night also involved a few beers and eating out at a diner-style restaurant, where I purposely put half of my meal in a to-go container before I ate...and fed it to the dog this morning. :)

I am making strides for myself...and i'm proud of the progress so far. Today is going to be a better day than yesterday!

A Cute Day!

The photo is a little blurry, but I felt really cute today, and had to share!



The shirt and pants are both from the Gap. The sweater I bought at the SoHo Old Navy over the weekend. The awesome pin is from the MoMA Store and was also bought over the weekend. The shoes I've had for a few years, bought at one of my favorite local shops.

A Fabulous Weekend Away

I hope to post pictures soon, but Chris and I just got home from a Fabulous weekend away. Just up to Cleveland, but it was a much needed break from our normally busy lives.

We took Friday off work, and make the trip up, stopping in Old Worthington on the way to visit my friend's new wine store, and checked out a couple of other shops in that area. Then we headed up to Cleveland and checked into our room and relaxed for a bit before heading out to dinner at MY favorite Cleveland restaurant to meet old coworkers of mine. 3 hours of dinner, catching up and great conversation later, Chris and I retired to the hotel bar, for a couple of pints of Conway's Irish Ale, from our favorite brewery.

Saturday morning we headed to the West Side Market. It was fantastic. What we thought might be an hour of wandering around and grabbing breakfast, quickly turned into three hours of a fabulous brunch, and photographing and looking at all the culinary treasures. We each indulged in a sweet treat (I HEART chocolate chip cannoli!), and bought some fresh pasta, pesto and cupcakes for our friends. It was SO hard resisting so many of the other treasures there, like the fresh salsas, the vegetarian delights, the asian foods and breads. I am STILL in shock that I never managed to visit this place in the 15 months I lived in Northeast Ohio. Shame on me!

Then we headed to a hobby store, before heading out to Chardon to visit our good friends Kelly and Frank and their 4-week-old baby, Addison. Addison was just the sweetest thing and she slept on my chest for quite a long time. It was a great visit with two of our best friends and so neat to see how this baby has changed their lives and how in love they are with her! We visited with them for about 5 hours before heading back to the hotel and retiring for the night.

This morning, we got up and went for dim sum. It was fabulous. I wish we had more than just the two of us so we could have tried more than 7 of the 30+ items they offered. It's making me want to try the place near us, but i'm so afraid of being disappointed. We'll see.

Now we're home, unpacked and relaxing. And I am SOOOO not ready for tomorrow or the crazy week I KNOW I have ahead of me. Here's to a few more relaxing hours before the madness begins!

A Long Overdue Update

I haven't written here in a long while. I've fallen off the wagon, unfortunately, and haven't been able to get back on just yet. I am trying every day. I just need to DO IT. That's why I've been reluctant to write. Lots of things have been holding me up. I'm taking some medication that's really screwing with me emotionally, not to mention the headaches, the nausea and just feeling down about taking this particular medication at all. I can't say i've gorged myself too much, but I haven't been making an effort to plan my meals as much, and I certainly haven't been exercising.

This weekend has gotten off to a better start. I made whole grain blueberry pancakes yesterday and froze them for breakfasts over the next several weeks. Tonight I'm making a new asian dish from my Bon Appetít magazine. I bought the stuff to make my favorite turkey chili recipe today, baby spinach salad ingredients, along with some good grab and go snacks for work like baked tostitos and salsa, and yogurt. I know if I get back on track i'm bound to pop out of this mental fog that I have been in. I have downloaded two episodes of Flight of the Conchordes for working out either later tonight or tomorrow. Menstrual cramps be damned!

*****
The guy at the gym update: Thanks to everyone who expressed their concern and advice about the situation. A few days later, i went back to the gym, and the same gentleman was sitting at the desk. As I checked in and said hello, he stood up and looked at my left hand as I scanned in. He did this very deliberately but looked right at my wedding band and said "OH, Nicole! I'm so sorry!" He then proceeded to apologize saying that he didn't realize i was married, and that he shouldn't have said what he said to me. I told him I appreciate the apology, and that I thought he was aware that I was married (afterall, I have specifically mentioned my husband to him on more than one occasion). And I haven't been back to the gym in two weeks. I'm sure he thinks i'm avoiding him. Which isn't the case (i'm just lazy and well...see above:) ), but it amuses me to think that he may be fretting it.

The Guy Who Works At the Gym Update

Last night, as I was checking into the gym, "Monty" said hello to me, and asked me who I was. Completely normal. I just said "I'm fine. I'm here." Because I REALLY didn't want to be, and I literally dragged myself there, with Chris behind me cheering me out the front door at home.
I started to walk away from the desk, after I had signed in, and toward the locker rooms.
Monty starts to walk in the same direction and says, "You know I have a crush on you, Nicole."
I dismissed him and said "You're silly." I was totally shocked.
He looked at me and said "I'm being serious, don't you believe me?"
And I said "Well...um...I'm flattered, I guess?"
Then Monty said, "You GUESS? Aww man, I'm going to stop now." And walked away.

And that was the end of our conversation. And now it's TOTALLY awkward. He walked away before I could tell him that I was married, and he barely looked at me as I left (not that this is a bad thing!).

Chris really wants me to either make a point of saying something to him tonight when I go back, or calling his manager. And I'm not a big fan of confronting conflict. I told him I'd rather go check out the YMCA's gym and look into joining there. Ha.

Posting more interesting content soon...

But for now...

Another 2 pound loss for the week when I stepped on the scale. I was VERY excited!

Grand total: 6 pounds lost in 2009.

2008: A Year in Review

In response to Fat Bridesmaid's fun questionnaire:

Happy New Year!

1. Was 2008 good for you? It was a good year. There were some ups, and a lot of downs, but it doesn't do me any good to be negative about it. I learned a lot about myself. I had another year of good health and growing even closer with my husband. How is that not good, right?
   
2. What was your favorite moment of the year? I definitely have two. Sitting on a dock on Lake Ontario at dusk with Chris. It was so peaceful, and something I'll never forget. And watching the Obama win announcement with Chris, my favorite cousin and other family on election night.
   
3. What was your worst moment of the year? Probably the day I worked from 7:15am to 11:30 pm at my new job and knew I had to be up at 4:30 the next morning to drive to C-bus to catch a flight. The job is definitely getting a little better, but for awhile I was worried that I went from bad to worse.
   
4. Where were you when 2008 began? At my parents "River" home in IN, with Chris, my parents and cousins Mike and Karen. We played Tripoley and drank a LOT of wine. It was really fun.
   
5. Who were you with? See above.
   
6. Where were you when 2008 ended? With Chris across the street playing dominoes with the neighbors.
   
7. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008? My resolution was to lose weight. I dropped 20 pounds, but gained it all back (and then some).
   
8. Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? I joined Weight Watchers again on Dec. 26th, but i'm not making it a resolution this year. I'm just focusing on making time to take care of myself - to eat right, to work out, and to find the time to do the things *I* need to do. I'm also majorly cutting my spending habits to *hopefully* pay off all of my credit card debt that's been looming, so I can focus on saving/investing for other things.
   
9. Did you fall in love in 2008? I fall in love with Chris every day. He's my best friend and I'm so thankful for him every day.
   
10. Did you make any new friends in 2008? My friend Tim at the new job. Amy at the old job (who sadly, I just met before I left). My coworker from the old job Sara and I have started hanging out almost weekly, and I'm so thankful for that.
11. What was your favorite month of 2008? October - A trip to Shaker Village, I had 10 days off, and we got to take a great trip to DC.
    
12. Why this month? Time with friends and family, and time to RELAX.
    
13. Did you travel outside of the US in 2008? Yes, to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Toronto. I LOVE Toronto
    
14. How many different places did you travel to in 2008? Louisville, Cleveland, DC, Toronoto , Niagara, New York, Omaha, Shaker Village
    
15. Did you miss anybody in the past year? I missed my friend Jen. I don't get to talk to her nearly as much as I used to, and the overnight with her family in DC was such a tease!
    
16. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? I loved Lars and the Real Girl.
17. What was your favorite song from 2008? Oh gosh. ANYTHING off of that Vampire Weekend Album.
18. How many concerts or plays did you see in 2008? We saw Ella at Playhouse in the Park, and Wicked at the Aronoff Center. In concert I saw DMB, Tegan and Sara, Springsteen, Paul Thorn, The National, The Breeders...wow. Not nearly enough!
19. Did you have a favorite concert in 2008? The National/Breeders show. Which was also an Obama Rally. It was fantastic.
    
20. What was your favorite book in 2008? The Kite Runner. It was the only book I finished this year (it's been such a busy, busy year), but it was fantastic.
    
21. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? I really let stress overtake me and lost total control of my health. I'm also ashamed of how hard I was to live with for a few months while the stress took over in my life.
    
22. What was the biggest lie you told in 2008? Any time my old co-workers told me they didn't want me to leave because of how things were going for my team and I told them not to worry.
    
23. Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? I definitely could have been nicer to my husband sometimes. Sadly, he bears the worst of my moods sometimes.
    
24. Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? It's not worth hashing out here. ;)
    
25. What was your proudest moment of 2008? The moment I felt like I was finally taking control of my finances. It sure did feel good!
    
26. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? It's definitely not an bad embarrassing moment - but having about 40-50 people in a room singing happy birthday to me was pretty embarrassing (but good!). I don't like that much attention, generally.
    
27. If you could go back to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? I might have approached some of those job interviews differently. And I would have stopped myself when I was eating when I wasn't hungry, or even enjoying what I was eating.
    
28. Where did you work in 2008? At my old job, and now at my new one.
    
29. Favorite TV shows(s) of 2008? The Office and Sunday Morning. Grey's has started to get dumb.
    
30. Favorite Band(s) of 2008? The National, She & Him, Vampire Weekend
    
31. Favorite Food in 2008? A Green Papaya Roll!
    
32. Favorite Drink in 2008? Vitamin Water
    
33. Favorite Place in 2008? Home sweet home. But close seconds are: Park + Vine (my friend's store!), Coffee Emporium, and Green Papaya
    
34. Favorite person(s) to be with in 2008? My Husband, and surprisingly - my brother. We really worked on fixing our friendship in 2008, and I enjoyed every minute with him.
    
35. Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2008? My neighbor. She cracks me up.
    
36. Favorite trip in 2008? Toronto, for sure!
    
37. Favorite stores in 2008? Park + Vine, the Apple Store, Whole Foods, Dean's Mediterranean Imports
    
38. Hardest thing you had to go through in 2008? New job transition
    
39. Most exciting moment(s) in 2008? Buying a new car, a good client presentation in New York, and trying chicken feet for dim sum. ;)
    
40. Funniest moment(s) in 2008? The "question and answer game" with friends, the girly slumber party, dinner at GP with James and the girls.
    

Determined to have a good week!

I'm celebrating my 30th birthday this week, and I decided over the weekend that it's going to be a VERY good week.

I'm not going to let work and car troubles bring me down. I worked a normal day today (well 9.5 hours...but much better than I have been!). I gave two very good presentations - one good thing about this new job is that i'm doing alot of presenting - something I KNOW I need practice doing.

Tomorrow night i'm going to a girly Christmas party with friends from my old job who I miss and adore.

Wednesday night, I have a meeting to discuss a conference that i'm really excited to help organize and go to.

Thursday is my birthday. My parents are taking me to a really fun new restaurant. And i've promised myself not to get hung up on what I *haven't* done by now, or the number 30. I'm sure it will feel no different than 29.

Friday, Chris is throwing a little shindig for me at one of my favorite bars, and at least 80 of my friends and family are coming. If that's not something to be excited about, i don't know what is! I also have that day off and have scheduled a cut and color with a new stylist who can hopefully mix it up a bit for me. I am excited. It's going to be a VERY good week, I tell you!

What a Crappy Day!

Boy oh boy!

• I started my day with an 8am Dentist Appointment. Let me tell you how fun those are.
• I got into work by 9am - the latest i've ever gotten there yet, because the latest i've been there before this was 8:30 am, when i've been told we start officially at 9am. I got lectured on being "late" even though I notified my bosses about my appointment.
• My web filters at my new job now block gmail. Ugh.
• They FORGOT to transfer my email and i lost everything for the last two weeks and still have no email.
• I didn't take lunch until 3pm because of work insanity.
• Had to spend said lunch getting a new phone because last night when I dropped it in the cupholder of my car, I forgot there was a glass of iced tea there.
• I worked until 7:15pm.
• I couldn't find my car in the parking garage.
• After finally finding it i tripped and fell, skinned my knee, jammed two toes, and have some nice bruises on knees and elbow.
• I am really sore and stiff and had to call and bail on canvassing for Obama tonight - something that really really means a lot to me.
• Cried in the car on the way home talking to my Mom. Thank goodness for her. I don't know what I'd do without her!

I think i'm going to self-medicate with an Oktoberfest beer now!

A Week in Review

I've been relaxing for a week, taking some time away from most everything that is the norm for me. Chris and I left last Saturday for D.C. for four days and three nights, which were really fun-filled and just what I needed! We got to spend a little time with my favorite cousin, our friends the Fordes, and the Niño's. We explored some of D.C.'s neighborhoods, and went to two fabulous museums.

Since we've been back, I went to a very exciting rally for Obama to see the National and the Breeders (for free!). Had lunch with my Mom, and my bro's ex-girlfriend, who's leaving for Australia today to work for a year. I have relaxed a lot. I have taken mid-afternoon naps. I have read and watched 90210 reruns (hehe), and I have been to the gym three times since Thursday! Yay me!

Today, I plan to go back to the gym, do a little cleaning, and get ready to party with the girls tonight from my old job and go dancing. I'm really excited. Monday starts the new gig. I am nervous, but also excited. Wish me luck!

A word (or two) from my vacation

1. I love my husband. he's such a good sport.
2. it's good to let loose.
3. i love the nino's.
4. i love spending the night at the nino's
5. i love the name 'geee mahh" from liam
6. i love the nino's

a fantastic weekend, and a week of endings

Tomorrow is my last day on the job, and i have mixed emotions about it all. It's a very very good thing for sure, but I sure am going to miss alot of the people there, and it's always a little scary making big changes.

But - onto the good stuff. I had a fantastic weekend in Shaker Village. I got to see four very amazing speakers, get to know alot of really great people, and reconnect with some old friends. Shaker Village is an amazing place. I'd like to go back very soon. It's hard to capture the beauty of the place with my cheap little camera, but this photo wasn't too bad.


High Bridge, Kentucky River

It's good to be refreshed and revived. Chris and I are off to D.C. this weekend for a last-minute vacation. We'll be visiting with some friends and enjoying the museums and the city. And when we return, i'm going to work hard to kickstart my healthy habits to start my new job in a healthier routine!

Heading to Shaker Village for the Weekend...

I'm going to one of the coolest Design Conferences ever - close to home in Shaker Village, KY. I even got talked into leading a session there (on sustainability, no less!). I'm really nervous about it, but I think it's going to be a blast. Anyway, as I prepare for this conference, and head out bright and early Friday morning, I leave you with this Shaker Hymn, which is fitting for the weekend, and the cleansing I need to do as I end one job, and move on to another.

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
'Till by turning, turning we come round right.

Workout!

My workout routine has been lacking (to say the least) for the past several months because of work. Today I finally got back to the gym after probably almost a month of not going. I'm saying this all too often, and wondering if I need to cancel my membership and exercise on my own because I am wasting money. I want to try to give it one more shot though.

Regardless, I got up at 5:30 this morning and trekked into the gym. 30 minutes on the arc trainer did me in though. I wasn't so out of breath, but I was tired, and really really HUNGRY. I threw in the towel there. I will walk the dog tonight for another 30 minutes, and try to build up my workout beyond that at the gym this weekend. I have no excuse for not going Saturday and Sunday. Really.

It is what it is though - I got up, when I didn't want to, and I did it. I exercised. And I'm celebrating myself for that right now. It's a small step, but a big accomplishment!

Taking my life back

Today was the day that my boss told the office I was leaving. It was a bit of a wild day. A woman I work with who used to be a boss of mine pulled me in her office and started crying, and told me that I needed to help fill my position and interview candidates before I leave. Ugh.

Regardless, I was in at 8am (a tad early), took a 90 minute lunch, and left at 5pm. And I haven't been more productive in months at home! I came home, had some dinner and sent several emails i've been neglecting to send for my professional association.

Then I walked with the dog, talked with my neighbor friend, did dishes, cleaned up my kitchen, put away several items that belonged in the basement, did two loads of laundry (and folded it!), vacuumed upstairs and down, and dusted the woodwork and furniture upstairs. Tomorrow night, Chris and I are going to tackle the yard. It desperately needs to be weeded.

I'm so excited to have energy back! I feel like I have my life back. It's WONDERFUL. I really hope this continues into my new job, because I really had no idea how much the stress was taking out of me until tonight. I feel like a new person.

Now i'm going to go curl up with my husband, who just got home from a late city council meeting!

On the Horizon

I have some good news on the Horizon. I will share more next week, but it's got me so excited that I could hardly sleep right now.

Such a bag of mixed emotions: i'm nervous, i'm excited, i'm sad, i'm ecstatic, i'm elated, but mostly, i'm relieved.

I'll share more soon, I promise!