So after a six month hiatus, I'm not sure whether to shut down or continue this blog. It's been a long and interesting six months. I have truly struggled with our infertility and I have drawn in in many ways not talking about it with anyone really, besides my husband and my therapist, and with the very few friends who have actually asked how i'm doing. Is it possible to feel trapped in your own grief? Because I do.
Regardless, I haven't decided if blogging about it will help me or not. I feel like my life is standing still at this moment, and I haven't reached whatever inspiration it is that I need to move forward. I have bought books, I have continued therapy, I have tried new eating regimens and workout regimens and things remain the same, at least emotionally.
We're headed out of town this weekend with great old friends and next week for 10 days to visit my in-laws and for Chris and i to get a few days away alone. I really hope to gain some perspective.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Just for Krissie...
I was a busy bee this weekend. I made a bunch of great meals for the week. And just for my friend Krissie, i'm posting some pics! The only thing missing is the awesome turkey meatloaf, roasted potatoes and spinach I made last night for dinner. Between dinner last night and lunch today it all got devoured (Chris LOVED it).
Black bean lasagna. YUMMM.
Spinach, turkey sausage and orzo soup. It tastes just as amazing as it sounds.
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Grilled chicken enchiladas. A staple in our house, and the photo is blurry and doesn't look like it but I was able to lighten this one up without the sour cream and about half the cheese I normally use.
Muffins. The four to the left are vegan banana chocolate chip. The ones on the right are Krissie's morning muffins with carrots, banana, oats and golden raisins. They are divine - both sets. Lots of these went in the freezer for future use!
Black bean lasagna. YUMMM.
Spinach, turkey sausage and orzo soup. It tastes just as amazing as it sounds.
.
Grilled chicken enchiladas. A staple in our house, and the photo is blurry and doesn't look like it but I was able to lighten this one up without the sour cream and about half the cheese I normally use.
Muffins. The four to the left are vegan banana chocolate chip. The ones on the right are Krissie's morning muffins with carrots, banana, oats and golden raisins. They are divine - both sets. Lots of these went in the freezer for future use!
GOAL: Week of January 10
This week's goal is going to be a real challenge. My goal is to burn 3200 calories or more with exercise. I started Saturday and end Friday. I have a full week with working late tonight, having to work a bit early tomorrow before going to a 9-5 offsite training (thus no opportunity for getting to the gym early) and a funeral to attend tomorrow night. Wednesday is going to be hard as well, with family plans I've had for awhile. I will be going to the gym within the hour tonight to hopefully burn about 800 calories, but so far I've burned 1007 calories. Here's to the other 2200!
I smashed last week's goal of doing something nice for Chris every day. This isn't always as easy it sounds when just starting out a diet. It's a time (for me) of being very selfish with my time, and I wanted to make sure Chris got some extra attention and love. He makes sure I get plenty of that every day, and he never EVER is selfish toward anyone. It was a great way to get things off to a good start!
I smashed last week's goal of doing something nice for Chris every day. This isn't always as easy it sounds when just starting out a diet. It's a time (for me) of being very selfish with my time, and I wanted to make sure Chris got some extra attention and love. He makes sure I get plenty of that every day, and he never EVER is selfish toward anyone. It was a great way to get things off to a good start!
Friday, January 08, 2010
Staying Positive
I hopped on the scale this morning, really excited to weigh myself after a week of good eating. My only real splurge for the week was going out to the Indian Buffet yesterday, and I think I made pretty good choices. I had half a piece of Naan, which is no small feat. I chose a bit of Aloo Paneer and a chick pea/tomato sauce item with some rice. I probably had a full cup of rice. It wasn't awful. I also had a Christmas cookie mid week. I counted both of these things.
It's frustrating to work out like I did, and eat well and NOT eat out, and find that you've only lost 1 pound. One stinking pound. It's a loss, I know that, but my first reaction was to throw in the towel and ask myself why I am doing this.
Then I remembered how great I've felt all week. How much stronger I feel already. And I sat down and looked at my food tracker and identified some other areas where I could have made better choices, and resolved that next week's goal will be to do at least 4 workouts that burn 800 calories or more, instead of 400. Then I decided to do something nice for myself. I watched a video on creating the "smoky eye" with makeup and proceeded to apply the technique and give myself some extra time to get ready and feel good about myself today, celebrating the loss I had! I was pretty happy with the results!
An image taken on the camera of my laptop, sitting at my desk at work.
Here's to a great week two!
It's frustrating to work out like I did, and eat well and NOT eat out, and find that you've only lost 1 pound. One stinking pound. It's a loss, I know that, but my first reaction was to throw in the towel and ask myself why I am doing this.
Then I remembered how great I've felt all week. How much stronger I feel already. And I sat down and looked at my food tracker and identified some other areas where I could have made better choices, and resolved that next week's goal will be to do at least 4 workouts that burn 800 calories or more, instead of 400. Then I decided to do something nice for myself. I watched a video on creating the "smoky eye" with makeup and proceeded to apply the technique and give myself some extra time to get ready and feel good about myself today, celebrating the loss I had! I was pretty happy with the results!
An image taken on the camera of my laptop, sitting at my desk at work.
Here's to a great week two!
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Rest does wonders!
I've been battling a head cold/sinus infection since New Year's Eve. Yesterday was definitely the day that I felt the worst I have felt through it all.
I have done SO well with food choices, with working out, and with just generally keeping myself active - and proactive. Not sitting on the couch or the computer doing nothing. I come home and prepare our meal, think about what we'll eat the next day, get both lunches packed and dinner ready as it can be, set the coffee timer and do the dishes. And i've been rocking my workouts.
But last night, I decided what I really needed more than anything was sleep. I worked late and didn't get home until close to 7pm. We had dinner and cleaned up and I was exhausted. I hadn't had a good night's sleep. I was coughing a LOT, and it kept me up. So I skipped the workout. I spent a little time reading (in bed), and then some time catching up with Chris on the day's events. And I was asleep at 9:15. And it was glorious. I needed it so much. I feel world's better this morning. And i'm not feeling guilty. I stayed within my calorie range and made good food choices all day. Hooray.
I am looking forward to returning to the gym tonight though. And putting in a bit of extra effort in case tomorrow morning's workout doesn't happen. A snow storm's coming our way in the morning. But plans can change for tomorrow night! And I must say - it feels darn good to be back on track, eating right and exercising.
Even though i'm sick, i've been feeling so much better than I have in months. And I need to keep telling myself this every day. Every time there's chocolate in the office, or a pizza lunch at work, or happy hour with greasy food. I don't really want that stuff. It makes me feel awful afterwards, and guilty to boot.
I have done SO well with food choices, with working out, and with just generally keeping myself active - and proactive. Not sitting on the couch or the computer doing nothing. I come home and prepare our meal, think about what we'll eat the next day, get both lunches packed and dinner ready as it can be, set the coffee timer and do the dishes. And i've been rocking my workouts.
But last night, I decided what I really needed more than anything was sleep. I worked late and didn't get home until close to 7pm. We had dinner and cleaned up and I was exhausted. I hadn't had a good night's sleep. I was coughing a LOT, and it kept me up. So I skipped the workout. I spent a little time reading (in bed), and then some time catching up with Chris on the day's events. And I was asleep at 9:15. And it was glorious. I needed it so much. I feel world's better this morning. And i'm not feeling guilty. I stayed within my calorie range and made good food choices all day. Hooray.
I am looking forward to returning to the gym tonight though. And putting in a bit of extra effort in case tomorrow morning's workout doesn't happen. A snow storm's coming our way in the morning. But plans can change for tomorrow night! And I must say - it feels darn good to be back on track, eating right and exercising.
Even though i'm sick, i've been feeling so much better than I have in months. And I need to keep telling myself this every day. Every time there's chocolate in the office, or a pizza lunch at work, or happy hour with greasy food. I don't really want that stuff. It makes me feel awful afterwards, and guilty to boot.
Monday, January 04, 2010
GOAL: Week of January 3
This week my goal is to finish reading my first book of the year, A Thousand Splendid Suns, and to do something extra nice for my husband every day this week. I'll be sure to report back in on this next week. :)
Sunday, January 03, 2010
LIES...and 2010 Goals
I haven't posted anything in quite awhile. Because I feel like a liar. I got on my high horse about all the hard work I was going to do and about my new herbal teas, and I failed miserably after just a few days and gave up. So now I'm back, and with several days under my belt of doing all the things I said I would do, I'm here to share my resolutions for the year, all of which revolve on the theme of making more time for myself, which I've never been very good at, and ultimately to lose weight:
1. Make weekly meal plans and stick to them
2. Workout 6 days a week (Friday is set as my day off), and schedule this weekly on the calendar.
3. Eat out less. 1-2 times per week max. This is much better than the 5-6 I have been doing.
4. Track all of my food intake on a spreadsheet. Aim to stay below 1200 calories/day, and for workouts to burn at least 400 calories each (I realize this is modest, but it's a start).
5. Save money and pay off looming debt. My goal is to have my credit cards paid off by the end of this year. It's doable. Then we can officially focus on saving money for the adoption fees that are about twice what I expected them to be! (goals 1 and 2 will directly help this goal move along)
6. Incorporate more fun in my life, and concentrate spending free time with people who build me up, not bring me down. In other words - people with good energy who are fun to be around. (Chris and I have already signed up for a ballroom dancing class starting later this month - I can't wait!).
7. Read more. I am ashamed to say I read 2 books (and lots of magazines) in 2009. This year, I am going to change that. I'm already 2/3rds of the way through my first book of the year (which I started on Saturday). I am dedicating at least 30 mins every day to read. A book, a magazine, the newspaper, whatever. My goal is to finish 6 books this year, along with my magazine and newspaper subscriptions.
8. Make a weekly goal aside from these to help aid in these goals, and post them weekly here each Monday on my blog.
Any big resolutions for anyone else? I'm not sure if it's the excitement of one hellish year being over with, but I am SUPER motivated on these this year. I think it's going to be a really really great year!
1. Make weekly meal plans and stick to them
2. Workout 6 days a week (Friday is set as my day off), and schedule this weekly on the calendar.
3. Eat out less. 1-2 times per week max. This is much better than the 5-6 I have been doing.
4. Track all of my food intake on a spreadsheet. Aim to stay below 1200 calories/day, and for workouts to burn at least 400 calories each (I realize this is modest, but it's a start).
5. Save money and pay off looming debt. My goal is to have my credit cards paid off by the end of this year. It's doable. Then we can officially focus on saving money for the adoption fees that are about twice what I expected them to be! (goals 1 and 2 will directly help this goal move along)
6. Incorporate more fun in my life, and concentrate spending free time with people who build me up, not bring me down. In other words - people with good energy who are fun to be around. (Chris and I have already signed up for a ballroom dancing class starting later this month - I can't wait!).
7. Read more. I am ashamed to say I read 2 books (and lots of magazines) in 2009. This year, I am going to change that. I'm already 2/3rds of the way through my first book of the year (which I started on Saturday). I am dedicating at least 30 mins every day to read. A book, a magazine, the newspaper, whatever. My goal is to finish 6 books this year, along with my magazine and newspaper subscriptions.
8. Make a weekly goal aside from these to help aid in these goals, and post them weekly here each Monday on my blog.
Any big resolutions for anyone else? I'm not sure if it's the excitement of one hellish year being over with, but I am SUPER motivated on these this year. I think it's going to be a really really great year!
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