Reflections on a once in a lifetime experience

Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of observing my husband meet his biological father for the first time. He is so fortunate to have had quite a wonderful experience with this, and today I am still glowing with happiness for him.

To make a long story short (without family politics or anything too terribly personal), my husband's parents had him when his mother was just 17, and his father was 20. They were married shortly before he was born, and the marriage only lasted about 3 years. The last time Chris saw his father was when he was 5 years old. He's not exactly sure why. It's not something that was really mentioned much during his childhood. And his mother remarried soon after his last visit with his real Dad, and Chris grew up with a father figure that he has called "Dad" and step-siblings who he has always considered his real siblings. The few times I encountered Chris ask about his real Dad, it was obvious that it was still a sore subject with his mother 25-30 years later.

About four years ago, my husband received an email from a half-sister, then 16, who wanted to know who he was, and whose curiosity led her to reaching out to him. For four years, he has spoken to this sister (now 20), and eventually the younger sister (now 19), but not their father. They've exchanged pleasantries and photos of each other. About a month ago we went to a concert and the two sisters were there - Cincinnati is such a small place! This led to my husband getting up the nerve to call his Dad, only after the two sisters broke the news to their Dad for the first time that they'd been talking to their brother for nearly four years via email.

They've had several long phone conversations over the course of the last month. And they've kept it light. No long explanations, or anger or awkwardness, just a mutual agreement that they are both sad that they missed out on one another's lives.

Last night we were invited to come to their home and meet the family. Chris was a bit reluctant and scared, but i'm so proud of him for taking the step to go. It was such a great experience. There's so much to be said for Nature vs Nurture. He is so much like his dad in personality, in looks, and in mannerisms. See the photo below:


Left to right: Jes, Sara, Chris & Mike

I feel so fortunate to have witnessed this experience. The sheer joy on his father's face, and the pride in his voice that I saw as Chris told him about his childhood, his college and military days, his career and our life together are something I will never forget. And the light in Chris' eyes to hear about some of his Dad's interests that are so similar to his own - baseball, trains, bluegrass, and beer - still has me all mushed up inside in excitement for him.

I look forward to observing how their relationship grows (though I am certain it will be a cautious and slow process by my husband's wishes), and I realize that sharing this experience with my husband has further strengthened our marriage. I just cannot express the admiration I feel for him after enduring such an emotional and very scary situation and coming out with what seems to be a very good outcome for all!

Keeping my head above water

I am anticipating a very rough week this week. I know work is going to be a bear. We're hardcore trying to finish up a site that should have been done in January, and that will mostly leave me to pick up anything that is left for the week. I was so stressed out last week that it completely knocked me on my a$$ over the weekend, which resulted in me sleeping 12 hours last night and taking a 2-hour nap today. I also broke out in hives one day this week, and if the massive blotchy patches on my face and neck don't clear up soon, I'm going to have to go to the dermatologist. I have been wondering since I broke out if these were stress-related.
I'm also anticipating a call from my doctor this week. A call that is a pretty big deal to me. After over six months of fertility medications, I am expecting a call from my gynecologist to let me know that there's nothing more he can do for me, and will be referring me to a fertility specialist. I haven't talked about it much to many people, but it's just something that's bursting out of me at this point and I have to put it out there. I've been really depressed all weekend, staring at the massive bruise from the blood work that was done on Friday. I went to a wedding shower yesterday where most of the talk was about people who were pregnant, or babies. Today I was at a first communion party surrounded by babies. It's really really hard for me. I try so hard to smile and not think about it in terms of my own situation, but I haven't been very successful.
Bottom line: I don't think this medication worked (again)...just a strong hunch, and I know how upset it got me last time I heard that news. I'm trying my best to stay positive. Three of my aunts apparently had the same problems that I am having...although the medication I am taking worked for each of them - since they each have three children!
I am ready. Readier than I have ever been, to have a child. I can't stop thinking about it. I have been patient for a year now, and I am hoping and praying that we'll get to the bottom of my infertility quickly. What's really hard for me about this is being so stubborn. I am a goal-oriented person in my professional life, and I am used to working hard for something and accomplishing my goals. And this is some place where I have no control, and no matter how hard I try, what books I read, or what foods I eat, I'm not getting what I set out for. And that's one of the hardest things for me.
I am so fortunate to have a husband who is supportive, and who I know is upset about it, too, but stays strong and positive for me!
I may not address the topic again for awhile, but I'm doing my best to keep my head above water this week and moving forward.

Single for a weekend

Chris is on furlough next week, and decided that it would be a good opportunity to go visit his Mom. I totally agreed, and secretly was excited that I wouldn't be going along this time.
He left last night, after I'd had an awful meeting with my boss - after week where my small team of four became a team of two. I really didn't want him to leave, but of course, I wasn't going to ask him to stay!

Thank goodness for a good night's rest and a little perspective.

Today has been really great. I love my husband, but had no idea how having today to myself would be such a good thing for me. I did run around with my friend Linda today for a bit, but I got a lot of cleaning done, treated myself to a trip to the Container Store (heaven!), and spent some quality time with the dog. I really think I just needed some time for ME. Not worrying about anything else, staying on my own agenda, and doing some things that were really fulfilling.

I'm sure by the end of tomorrow i'm going to be going crazy wishing Chris was coming back sooner than Wednesday, but for now, i'm soaking in the alone time. I forgot how much I always valued my alone time before I met him. I think it's SOOOOO healthy for both of us.

And I really can't wait for him to see all the work i've done around the house by the time he gets home on Wednesday. Cleaning and organizing has helped lift the funk i've been in for several weeks!

More coming soon - these have been some trying and very busy weeks for me!

A Fabulous Weekend Away

I hope to post pictures soon, but Chris and I just got home from a Fabulous weekend away. Just up to Cleveland, but it was a much needed break from our normally busy lives.

We took Friday off work, and make the trip up, stopping in Old Worthington on the way to visit my friend's new wine store, and checked out a couple of other shops in that area. Then we headed up to Cleveland and checked into our room and relaxed for a bit before heading out to dinner at MY favorite Cleveland restaurant to meet old coworkers of mine. 3 hours of dinner, catching up and great conversation later, Chris and I retired to the hotel bar, for a couple of pints of Conway's Irish Ale, from our favorite brewery.

Saturday morning we headed to the West Side Market. It was fantastic. What we thought might be an hour of wandering around and grabbing breakfast, quickly turned into three hours of a fabulous brunch, and photographing and looking at all the culinary treasures. We each indulged in a sweet treat (I HEART chocolate chip cannoli!), and bought some fresh pasta, pesto and cupcakes for our friends. It was SO hard resisting so many of the other treasures there, like the fresh salsas, the vegetarian delights, the asian foods and breads. I am STILL in shock that I never managed to visit this place in the 15 months I lived in Northeast Ohio. Shame on me!

Then we headed to a hobby store, before heading out to Chardon to visit our good friends Kelly and Frank and their 4-week-old baby, Addison. Addison was just the sweetest thing and she slept on my chest for quite a long time. It was a great visit with two of our best friends and so neat to see how this baby has changed their lives and how in love they are with her! We visited with them for about 5 hours before heading back to the hotel and retiring for the night.

This morning, we got up and went for dim sum. It was fabulous. I wish we had more than just the two of us so we could have tried more than 7 of the 30+ items they offered. It's making me want to try the place near us, but i'm so afraid of being disappointed. We'll see.

Now we're home, unpacked and relaxing. And I am SOOOO not ready for tomorrow or the crazy week I KNOW I have ahead of me. Here's to a few more relaxing hours before the madness begins!

A Week in Review

I've been relaxing for a week, taking some time away from most everything that is the norm for me. Chris and I left last Saturday for D.C. for four days and three nights, which were really fun-filled and just what I needed! We got to spend a little time with my favorite cousin, our friends the Fordes, and the Niño's. We explored some of D.C.'s neighborhoods, and went to two fabulous museums.

Since we've been back, I went to a very exciting rally for Obama to see the National and the Breeders (for free!). Had lunch with my Mom, and my bro's ex-girlfriend, who's leaving for Australia today to work for a year. I have relaxed a lot. I have taken mid-afternoon naps. I have read and watched 90210 reruns (hehe), and I have been to the gym three times since Thursday! Yay me!

Today, I plan to go back to the gym, do a little cleaning, and get ready to party with the girls tonight from my old job and go dancing. I'm really excited. Monday starts the new gig. I am nervous, but also excited. Wish me luck!

A word (or two) from my vacation

1. I love my husband. he's such a good sport.
2. it's good to let loose.
3. i love the nino's.
4. i love spending the night at the nino's
5. i love the name 'geee mahh" from liam
6. i love the nino's

All gushy inside

:)

Tonight I met up shortly with my friend Kelly. One of my oldest and still dearest friends. She was in town from Cleveland for her sister's bachelorette party, and is 6 months pregnant. I haven't seen her since she was very newly pregnant (and what's pretty funny is that I knew then that she was pregnant and she didn't know it yet!). Chris and I crashed the party for a bit to hang out with her. It was so great to see her. And she has got to be the cutest pregnant lady i've seen since the Nino's came to visit a couple of years ago! :)

It's been a great long weekend so far. Chris and I went up to Yellow Springs yesterday. We planned on hiking, but the rain kept us from that, so had lunch and then we shopped most of the day. I bought some really beautiful amber earrings and a hand-cranked flashlight/radio combo. I also bought a Christmas gift for my mother in law. Then we went to Young's Dairy for some fabulous ice cream.

For our anniversary, Chris and I went to the CAC. Then we went out to dinner at Riverside Korean. Wow, was it amazing!

Today I have been pretty worn out. I spent the morning relaxing on my front porch, enjoying the weather. I read and took a nap this afternoon, and Chris went out on a little-mini road trip while I went to church and then to the grocery store. I came home and tried out a recipe from a Rachel Ray cookbook that my Mom gave me last year for a Mexican Chorizo stoop. It wasn't bad, though I substituted the Tomatillos for tomatoes from my Mom's garden, and used chicken Chorizo from the farmer's market to lighten the recipe up. It turned out pretty well.

Tomorrow is a double baby shower for my two cousin's wives. And I'm sure I'll have to field the "when are you having a baby?" question at least a few times tomorrow, and it's very hard for me at this point not to get upset when people ask me that question and not have the urge to say "it's really none of your business!"

But I do plan to enjoy every last minute of that one last day off of work! :)

Four Years

I'm not working today, yet i'm having quite a bit of trouble sleeping this morning as I unwind from all the things going on.

Chris and I took today and tomorrow off of work to celebrate our fourth anniversary, which is today.

I woke up this morning reflecting on that, of course, and marveling at the past year, which I really think may have been our hardest year yet, emotionally, on me. I have really struggled with a lot of things this year. And of course those things have affected my marriage. But I am so fortunate to be married to one of the most patient and understanding human beings I have ever met. He's just so kind and wonderful, and even when i feel i'm at my very worst, he provides me with the comfort I need, the listening I desire, and the patience to endure it all with an unwavering great attitude -- he's my biggest cheerleader.

We've had some really great times this year as well (and it's always best to end on the positive!). We shared a fantastic week-long vacation to Ontario, which is to date, one of my favorite trips we've ever taken together. It really revitalized us both in several ways. We've shared so many fun days together with family and friends, or even just movie nights at home with our dog - we both adore that family time with just the three of us!

He's my best friend, and I'm amazed that these four years have flown by so quickly! Here's to a fantastic year five!

Derby Day!

People in Kentucky take the Kentucky Derby VERY seriously. That's why celebrating with Jenni and Aaron Huff is such a delight!

Bourbon balls (0r cubes), mint juleps, cornhole, jello shots, KFC (YUM! brands), a visit from the cops, and White Castles at the end of the night.

And a "doing dinner soon is NOT an option, it's a must, by one councilman, Mr. Huff made it SUCH a fun night!

And yes, it's 12:40, and i'm going to bed. But 8 hours of drinking is pretty good for me these days!

A PERFECT Day!

Chris and I took the day off today. It was an awesome day. He took me to my favorite breakfast spot, and then my favorite coffee shop to stock up on beans.

After we got cleaned up at home, I went with him to get a haircut, and we bummed around a few shops, my favorite being the best record shop in the world! I used a gift certificate that my parents' gave me to buy some much-needed new music.

We had dinner with our neighbors at a new Korean place that was JUST fabulous. I can't say enough about how delicious it was! I only wish it was a little bit cheaper, so we could justify going there a LOT more.

Afterwards we went driving around to see some very unique Christmas light displays. And back home for a nightcap. All in all, a wonderful day. I hope it's an indication of a VERY good 30th year of my life! It sure has started out right.

Going South

We have returned from our trip to Nashville. A day early, mind you, because the Smashing Pumpkins show was postponed (and i'm still keeping my fingers crossed that I can unload my tickets and not lose the $100+ on them).

We had a fabulous time. Nashville wasn't what I expected, but I was pleasantly suprised at how laid back the city is, how nice the people there are, and the general quirks when discovering a new place.

We packed a lot into a two-night trip. We saw alot of the touristy stuff, but it's what we wanted to do. We visited the home of Andrew Jackson, and took a tour of the Ryman. We did a little shopping, and a lot of eating and drinking. I'm still dreaming about the Sweet Potato Pancakes I had for breakfast yesterday- WOW! We got to visit with Sarah, and hear all about her trip to South Africa, which was awesome!

We opted to leave on Monday because the show had been canceled, and left things open-ended with the thought that we might stay in Louisville on our way back, depending on how things went. We stopped for the Maker's Mark Distillery tour in Loretto, KY. My husband was in heaven! Then we made our way to have dinner with my friend Scott, and his sister, Amy at Lynn's Paradise cafe in Louisville. We then opted just to make the trip home and save our money and just relax here today.

Here are some photo highlights of our trip:

My favorite stop on Broadway: Hatch Show Print!



The Glorious Ryman Auditorium!



Dinner with one amazing lady!



I think this shot pretty accurately captures how excited Chris was about our Maker's Mark tour! This is a giant vat of bourbon behind him, about two days into the 6+ year process.

Three Years

Three years ago today, I married my best friend, the love of my life. ]

Year three has been our hardest yet. We've both had very stressful times at work. We've done some big house projects. We've been through a very tough family crisis and the death of a loved one.

But we got through it with grace and I think we're stronger for it.

We've laughed and we've cried, and we've managed to let loose every chance we get.

Thank you, Chris, for another wonderful year of marriage! You are the most caring and giving person I could have ever asked for.